


Blessed with an unwilling mentor

by ContriversalNews



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime), この素晴らしい世界に祝福を! | KonoSuba: God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Magic, Deja Vu, F/M, Murder Mystery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ContriversalNews/pseuds/ContriversalNews
Summary: Kazuma was fiddling around with an item in Wiz's shop before he was suddenly transported to another world. The first person he meets here is also new to this world and also from Japan, his name Subaru Natsuki. Subaru will suffer, but since Kazuma is around he is going to get some pointers on what not to do in another world, but Kazuma won't give out tips when Subaru wants them.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 45





	1. The newbie and the veteran

Let us go back to the day Subaru was summoned to the kingdom of Lugnica only this time Kazuma gets sucked into the same world as Subaru after having spent some time in Axel. Therefore Subaru will only have return by death, while Kazuma has basically all his abilities from the end of light novel 9. Subaru has positive expectations, while Kazuma already knows how shitty living in a fantasy world can really be. So let us see how this duo will overcome their challenges.

You know I had a feeling today was going to be shitty, but I thought it would at the very least involve Aqua, Megumin or Darkness to some extent. I did not expect to be sucked into another world while in Wiz's shop. Luckily I still understand the language and writing automatically, let me do a check of myself.

Kazuma's notes:

Me

Usefulness: High, since I am versatile

Intelligence: Above average

Naïve: HELL NO

Equipment: Katana(Chunchunmaru), Bow and 0 x arrows, thief mask, Mithril alloy rope + extra rope.

Age: 17, birthday on June 7

Cheat item/ability: No, Aqua isn't around.

What is that guy doing, and is that a tracksuit. I would bet he is from Japan, oh please don't tell me he is a newbie.

"Hey, you want to tell me why you have your arm pointing to the road?" I asked the guy, he might be from Japan, since his clothing is sticking out like a sore thumb.

"Eh, I was just doing some stretches," he tried to excuse himself, but he was clearly lying.

"You were trying to cast magic, weren't you," I accused which instantly turned his face into a deep red color, which could make a tomato envious.

"N-no, like I said I was just doing some stretches," he again tried to wriggle himself out of the embarrassing moment, how prideful could this guy be? Just admit it already.

"You are from Japan right?"

"How did you know that!?" He yelled at me in shock.

"You have a tracksuit on, and I am also from Japan, name is Kazuma Satou," I explained going for a handshake.

"Eh, my name is Subaru Natsuki," he returned the handshake with a smile as the shock started to fade away.

"Ok, I take it you were just summoned since you made an utter fool of yourself," I guessed which he nodded too.

"So are you supposed to be my mentor and tell me about how this world works?" He hopefully queried.

"Nope! I was just summoned into this world as well, I don't know shit about this world," I quickly shot him down, I am not going to babysit some newbie.

"But you have a bow and a katana, that is not something you just walk around with in Japan, you have to have some experience,"

"I do have experience, but not with this world, I was messing with an item from my friend's shop, and boom I am suddenly in another world, AGAIN!" I explained to him.

"Oh, ok, so we are going to be like a duo exploring the world together?" He said hopefully.

"Suuure, we can be a duo, how much damage can you take?" I asked

"Ehm, I can take average damage, maybe a little bit more since I train every day," He answered honestly

"Great, do you have any items with you from your world, or have you been granted any cheat items by let's say a goddess?" I continued to question the guy as I scribbled down.

"I have a bag of chips, and a phone on me, and I can't remember meeting any goddesses or gods," the guy continued to answer honestly.

"Interesting, and how old are you?"

"I am 17, about to be 18, what are you writing down there?" he asked curiously.

"Ah, you know, important information," I excused myself.

Kazuma's notes:

Natsuki, Subaru

Usefulness: Low

Intelligence: Average, maybe below

Naïve: Yes

Equipment: 1 cup of instant noodles, 1 bag of my favorite chips, 1 cellphone

Age: 17, soon 18

Cheat item/ability: No, or doesn't know about it.

"Now we can go and explore right?" Subaru asked in a hopeful tone.

"Sure, you first," if anything kills you or harms you I will know to not go that way.

We walked around for a bit until we reached a toilet, I could clearly read signs saying "women" and "men", but this guy is either a big pervert or he can't read, because he just waltzed right into the women's department and got smacked out of there in an instant.

"You are a pervert, oblivious or stupid, so which one is it?" I asked Subaru, now wearing a big pawmark on his cheek.

"I can't read any of this, how was I supposed to know," he complained.

"Hmm, you can't read, that is interesting, what does that sign say?" I asked as I pointed to a sign saying Appas.

"I don't know, it is just unintelligible scribbles for me," he said exasperated.

"Hey cheer up man, let us go somewhere else in the meantime," I guided him to an alley way to sit down as I picked up the bag of chips and popped it.

"Hey, I was going to save that," he complained as I opened it and started to eat.

"I am hungry, and this is my favorite type of chips, and I haven't had these in forever so zip-it,"

"You can hand those over to us then, with all your other belongings," A thin tall boy with blue-greyish hair said, making my {Enemy detection} skill to go off. On his right you had a little midget half his size, and on his left was a brute twice his size. I could clearly tell that the guy in the middle was the leader.

"I think we are being robbed," Subaru stated the obvious.

"Indeed, that is something I am actually not used to," unless I count Aqua.

"Don't worry, it is now we get saved by a girl or you show me your skills since you are the experienced one of us," Subaru explained.

"I don't know if that is going to-" I stopped as a girl with golden hair came speeding down the alleyway catching everyone's attention, which I took as the opportunity to activate {Lurk} and steal everything Subaru had of use on him before I got myself on top of the roof. So now I sat on top of the roof eating chips while watching how this would develop.

"Hmm, summoned, I don't know what you are talking about but I am really busy, sorry, now live strong okay," The girl with golden hair and CRIMSON RED EYES, said as she jumped up the roof like nothing, granted I had done the same just before.

"Wait, what, where are you going!" Subaru yelled after the girl as the leader grabbed ahold of him, while the girl jumped up next to me before continuing her run.

That was basically Chris, just with Darkness' hair and Megumin's eyes. I noted to myself as I continued to watch Subaru now frantically looking around for someone, me I would presume.

"Hey get down here and help me!" He yelled at me as we made eye-contact.

"I already am, I got all our valuables, so even if they beat you up they won't get anything out of it," I said as I flaunted all his stuff.

"You asshole!" He yelled back at me, making all of the robbers confused.

I think they were about to give up until Subaru turned around. Yelled "You bunch of EXP," then proceeded to punch the big dude in the face, before he did a roundhouse kick which sent the little guy flying. I thought he was going to win the whole fight until all his confidence drained away the moment the leader pulled out two knives, and he started to beg for his life.

"Oh, they are so going to kick his ass," I called it before the leader kicked the prostrating Subaru in the chest, proceeded by the other two getting up and kicking the absolute shit out of him. Which he kind of deserved after ruining my perfect plan. I was even about to step in before I heard what I thought was Megumin yell at them to stop. Which again caught everyone's attention, even mine.

"Give me back what you stole and I will let all the other things slide, be good and hand it over please" Fake Megumin pleaded or demanded, it was hard to gather from her tone.

"So you didn't come to save this kid?" The brute asked while pointing to the person he was currently stomping on.

"What strange clothes he has…" Fakeumin pointed out, "No, never seen him before," She continued

"Well then you've got no business with us! If someone stole from you it was the brat that just ran by," The brute said as he pointed to me sitting on the roof.

"NOT ME! HE MEANS A GIRL WHO JUST RAN BY!" I quickly yelled before the girl got a chance to use any magic on me. I had a feeling she could use magic, based on her voice, and if she in worst case scenario could cast {Explosion} I would be gone with the rest of town.

"You don't seem to be lying," Fakeumin said as she ran past them, making all three let out a sigh of relief. "But regardless of that, I can't overlook what is going on here!" She exclaimed as she summoned ice magic and shot one baseball sized ice cube at each of them.

"Ouch that just got to hurt," I muttered to myself.

The guys sputtered something about "not being afraid of a magic user," until Fakeumin suddenly summoned a grey, white talking cat, with a purple bag. Which made them run away as quickly as possible. Note to self: that cute little cat is dangerous, and Fakeumin can cast useful magic that doesn't drain away all her mana.

Kazuma's notes:

Fakeumin

Usefulness: Great

Intelligence: Average, maybe above

Naïve: maybe

Equipment: Nothing noteworthy

Age: looks between 16-19

Cheat item/ability: Yes, little grey-white probably OP cat.

"You saved me, thank-"

"Don't move!" Fakeumin ordered making Subaru blush.

Oh no, he is in love, I don't want to deal with this.

"See? You averted your eyes because you have a guilty conscience!" Fakeumin falsely accused Subaru, yeah that's going to be some points towards average intelligence. "Looks like my judgement was spot-on,"

Okay she is sure of herself too, that is not a good mix.

"Are you sure? I think it was just an instinctive male reaction," The cat accurately pointed out. I might have to make a page just for him.

"I didn't sense any malice in him at all," I'll write that ability down for sure.

"You be quiet Puck," Fakeumin ordered, before she redirected her attention back to the beaten up Subaru.

"You know who stole my insignia from me, don't you?"

"Uh, sorry but, I don't have the slightest idea," Subaru excused himself.

Suddenly Fakeumin changed her mannerisms and started to go on a rant with her flying cat, in the meantime Subaru tried to get up, but instead he just passed out from all the damage he had taken. I guess it is time for me to see if they can help him. I got down from the roof and went over to them.

"Can you do any healing magic for my companion, he seems to be pretty beat up at the moment, in return for your help, I can help you find whoever stole your insignia, she ran past me not too long ago, and I got a good look on her," I said, trying to not sound creepy.

"Hmm, you promise you will help us find the thief?" Fakeumin asked with a hopeful undertone.

"Yeah, but can you help him with those injuries first," I pointed to the passed out Subaru.

"I don't sense any lies or malice from him," Puck said.

"Very well then, we will help your companion and in return you lead us to the thief," Fakeumin said.

"Deal!" I exclaimed.

"Puck transform into something bigger so we can put his head on something soft," She ordered her cat which he quickly followed going from his pocket sized form to a human sized form.

"So you can do healing magic too?"

"Some, but I nowhere near the level of a person I know, she can pretty much regenerate organs from scratch," Fakeumin explained.

"Yeah, I know someone like that too," I retorted.

"Really, they must be a very powerful person to be able to do that," Puck noted.

"She is powerful, but she isn't very bright," or useful for that matter.

"So how do you two know each other?" She asked me.

"Met him on the street a couple of hours ago, the dude doesn't know how to read so I tried to guide him around, and then we took a break here, those three guys tried to rob us, so when the thief girl distracted everyone I took all our stuff and went up to the roof. They were about to let him go, but then he punched two of them, so they beat him up in return," I explained.

"Why didn't you try to help him get rid of the thugs when they were beating him?" Puck asked me with a judging stare.

"I didn't have any arrows on me, and I don't really want to fight three guys without knowing how strong they are," I quickly retorted.

"So you don't like risking yourself for others?" Puck asked me, I could tell he was judging me.

"Every time I have tried it only ends with someone dead," by someone I mean me, it is always me.

"Poor you, did you know the people that died well?" Fakeumin asked with genuine pity on her face, those eyes and hair really reminded me of Eris so I kind of took a liking to her.

"Yeah, you could say that," it was me after all.

"My condolences, that must have been hard,"

"After a while you get used to it,"

"Hmm, oh I think he is waking up," She pointed out.

"Oh, hang on am I in somebody's lap," He pointed out the obvious yet again, silent salute for you man.

"You're awake?" She asked him.

"A little weird for a cute girl to be this hairy, but whatever," oh dear when he realizes he is going to scream.

"WAIT THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!" He yelled as he turned around to look into giant Puck's blue eyes. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Subaru shot up and screamed in panic, now clinging to the wall like he had seen a ghost.

"We were just trying to make you happy and comfortable until you woke up, there is no reason to get freaked out," Giant Puck said in a girly high pitched voice to mock him. I like this magic cat.

"First of all stop talking in that high-pitched voice, nobody with half a brain would confuse a cat with the main heroine," He complained, totally forgetting that this is not some stupid game or anime. Hopefully I am not going to be stuck with this idiot for too much longer.

"Aww, listen to you, seeing you so happy made turning myself bigger totally worth-"

"I'M NOT HAPPY AT ALL!" Subaru yelled back, he was clearly frustrated, which made it all the more fun to laugh at him.

"Ok, enough of this, are you going to tell me where the thief that stole my insignia could have gone?" Fakeumin directed her attention back to me.

"How valuable would you say the insignia is?" I asked.

"Priceless," She quickly retorted.

"What would the consequences be if it, you know someone else got their hands on it?"

"That would be disastrous," She answered again quickly.

"Ok so stolen, priceless goods that has significant consequences if in the wrong hands," I noted to myself, Wiz's shop almost always dealt with such items, and her shop lay in the outskirts of town with almost no traffic.

"My first idea would be too look in the outskirts of the outskirts, like a slum, the area would have little traffic of guards and the items could be sold without law enforcement hearing about it," I deduced.

"Hmm, that actually sounds really logical, it sounds like you have previous experience with selling mysterious goods from that deduction," Puck pointed out, that cat was perceptive, or could he read my mind like Vanir.

"The thief also looked rather scrawny or malnourished like a friend of mine, so she has to be pretty poor which would reaffirm her living in a bad area, like the slums," I pointed out.

"Hmm, well that would be sufficient information in exchange for my help, since spending more time with you no longer serves a purpose I will be on my way," Fakeumin said as she got up and waved us goodbye.

"Sorry, she is so insincere sometimes, but don't think badly of her, ok?" Puck said, which made Subaru start mumbling about something, which I didn't catch before he started running after Fakeumin.

"Well, he is your problem now, I will be on my way," I said before Puck appeared in front of me blocking my path.

"I don't trust you, what if you are making us walk into a trap, you smell funny too, not like your companion, yours is unfamiliar but it still reminds me of sloth and wrath," Puck menacingly said as he triggered my {Enemy detection}.

"O-ok, I will join, just cool it a little Puck," I stuttered out.

"Interesting choice of words," He calmly noted as the hostility towards me feigned away.

When we came out of the alleyway Fakeumin was discussing with Subaru about something until Puck (Now pocket size) floated to her shoulder and spoke.

"I don't sense any malice here, so I think you can just accept his offer, after all the more shields between you and the ruffians the better," Puck stated as he looked towards me and Subaru with a smug look.

"A SHIELD THAT IS ALL YOU WANT ME AROUND FOR!" Subaru yelled back at Puck clearly offended. But his logic was pretty sound, if you had to sacrifice someone to keep your mistress or friend safe, why not just let it be some idiot you found walking around on the street.

"Let us just get this over quickly, lead us to the slums girl," I said as I just wanted to get away from these three, especially that scary cat.

After walking for an hour we reached a pretty secluded space when Puck had the bright idea of making us all introduce ourselves. I didn't want to know her real name, Fakeumin sounded better in my head.

"I might as well go and get the ball rolling first then, my name is Subaru Natsuki, not only am I totally clueless I am also broke beyond compare, nice to meet you," He stupidly introduced himself as he did a somewhat ridiculous pose, I have seen worse from Megumin and the other crimson demons.

"If that is how you introduce yourself you really do sound hopeless" Puck said, which was what I was thinking as I facepalmed internally.

"Well my name is Puck, it is nice to meet you!" The cat exclaimed as he flew towards Subaru and crashed into his hand.

"It is very unusual to see someone who can touch a spirit as casually like that, where are you from exactly?" she said, but I think she meant that Subaru was being careless and stupid.

"Well if things follow the usual pattern, it is a small island nation to the east," Subaru explained, why couldn't he just say he is from an island, or hell say you are from a place they call Japan. Why would you say something that includes our worlds geography.

"But Lugnica is the eastern most country on our continental map, there are no more countries in that direction," Fakeumin pointed out, making him look like a proper idiot, why am I always stuck with an idiot.

"No way, there is nothing east of here?!" He uttered in complete shock, dude you are in another world what did you expect.

"You have no idea where you are, you have no money, you can't read, but at least you have this guy that can help you," Fakeumin clearly didn't catch me trying to walk away from him earlier, but whatever. "Ehm, Subaru right?" She asked timidly catching his attention and making the guy blush.

"Yes, that is my name," he retorted while he started to nibble on his thumb.

"All that aside you seem like you are in pretty good shape," Puck pointed out.

"I do try to work out every day, you see when you are the shut-in protector of your own home, you got to stay fit as much as possible," He proudly explained.

"I am not sure if I understand what a shut-in is, but I assume it means you are from a reputable family, right?" Fakeumin said while she grabbed ahold of his hand and started to study it.

Why is he so proud of being a shut-in, at least I can say I am not that, I died outside after all.

"Your finger too, they are very pretty, they don't look like the working hands of a peasant at all, and your muscles don't look like the kind you gain from doing field work," She continued to explain as she studied his hand closer, which made him red as a tomato.

"Can we just get the move on, we still need to find that insignia," I interjected, trying to hurry the search up.

"Wait, I still haven't heard your name, would you tell me what it is?" Subaru asked.

"Oh, my name?" Fakeumin nervously asked, which he instantly answered with some nodding and a dumb smile on his face.

"It's… it's Satella," she said looking straight at him, which made Puck do an involuntary gasp in surprise, which told me that she was definitively lying, but if it would get Subaru moving, then great. "No family name, so that is the way you may address me, alright?" Fakeumin said.

"I see, Satella it is, that's a nice name," Subaru complimented, which clearly surprised her, making her look at me.

"What are you staring at, we got an insignia to find," I said making Puck let out a sigh of relief as he mumbled something to her.

"You should introduce yourself too," Subaru annoyingly pointed out.

"Kazuma Satou, ok, can we please get going?" I pleaded, I didn't like being outside when it was dark, especially not somewhere I didn't know anything about, so I felt that getting this done while the sun was still shining was essential to our success.

"Why are you in such a hurry Kazuma?" Puck asked, his voice cold and calculating.

"Wouldn't be easier to find the thief while the sun is still up?" I answered with my own question.

"I can't argue with that, but how do we know where to look for the thief?" He asked me.

"We could ask around if people have seen a girl with golden hair and red eyes," I answered.

"Oh, very well then, good sir would you-"

"Hmph," a middle-aged man snorted and ignored her as he started to walk away from us.

"Hmm, I don't think they are going to sell out one of their own," Subaru pointed out.

"Yeah, we would need someone that looks like they have been beat up or gotten their clothes ripped and dirtied," I noted to myself as I started to look at Subaru.

"Eh, why are you all staring at me like that?" Subaru asked nervously as Puck and Fakeumin started to stare with me.

"Subaru, why don't you try to ask around for the girl?" I suggested.

"O-ok, well, hey dude can I talk to you," Subaru went up to another guy, I would guess in his thirties and he actually started to talk with him instead of walking away.

"So, what did you gather, did he tell you anything useful?" I asked.

"He told me that the girl we are looking for is named Felt and that we should probably go to a loot house in that direction, told me to ask for "Old man Rom," and then he said "Live strong"" Subaru explained as he pointed out our next destination.

After a few minutes of walking we reached a run down building I would presume to be our destination, the sun was starting to go down so I felt we needed to get this done quickly.

"Subaru go and knock on the door, if you get killed we will know not to step up to the door," I jokingly told him, which only earning a glare from him, those scary eyes of his really sent a shiver down my spine.

"I would be glad to do so if Satella asked me to, but not you Kazuma, especially after raising all those flags, if she were to-"

"Ok, I will knock on the door, before you say something moronic, AGAIN!" I was tired of this guy, now it really felt like he thought all of this was just a game, and he was the protagonist.

I knocked on the door, which felt like it was about to fall off its hinges. The wooden door was clearly rotten in a few places and it had some kind of mold growing at the bottom. After a few seconds I could hear some light footsteps as the door opened to reveal a girl, with red eyes and golden blonde hair. Why do the two first girls I meet remind me of Megumin and Eris, what is next they are princesses too so I remember Iris on top of it all.

"What do you want?" She asked, clearly suspicious of me, I made sure to block her sight of the two behind me, maybe she would take off the moment she saw Fakeumin or Subaru.

"The insignia you stole would be a good start," my inner negotiator kicked in, she was clearly expecting someone I might be able to pass as them.

"You got the money?" She asked narrowing her eyes at me, in response I checked my pocket and found my coin pouch, and shook it a little in front of her.

"Come on in then," she said opening the door wide, which also unfortunately revealed the sight of Fakeumin and Subaru to her. Her reaction was instantaneous as she tried to run back inside, but I was quicker and cast {Bind} on her making the rope from my belt wraparound her, which in turn made her faceplant on the floor.

"HEY!" An older man, sorry a giant man thundered in outrage from behind his bar as he started to run at me with his club raised.

"{Create water}, {Freeze}" I chanted first casting water on the wooden floor, which quickly froze as I dodged the side swing of the giant as he slipped on the ice and crashed through the door and landed on ground outside. I took out my mithril alloy rope and cast {Bind} once more.

"That should take care of them," I noted as I went over to Felt and started to check her pockets with no regards to where my hand wandered.

"HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" She yelled back at me as I took everything she had on her of items, which wasn't much, just a blade and what I would presume is the insignia. The moment it left her pocket the red gem in the middle stopped shining.

"Is this the insignia?" I asked for conformation showing it off to Fakeumin.

"Well yes indeed, thank you so much, I don't know how to show you my gratitude," Fakeumin joyfully sprung at me as she saw the little insignia, the moment she took it the red gem started to shine again, making me curious.

"Hey, great work there Kazuma, I might have misjudged you, you took those two down like nothing," Puck praised me, finally giving me a chance to breathe easy.

"Yeah sure, but just curious what makes that gem light up?" I queried.

"Oh, this lights up when someone worthy of being a ruler candidate touches it," Fakeumin explained to me.

"Why are you asking?" Puck questioned me, but his tone was friendlier this time.

"Because it was lit up when I took it from her, so doesn't that mean she also is a ruler candidate?"

"WHAT?!" My information clearly shocked both Puck and Fakeumin as they stared at me in disbelief over what I just told them.

"Don't believe me, test it yourself," I gestured to the defenseless little girl laying on the floor.

"Very well then, can you hold it up to her cheek Subaru?" Fakeumin asked as she offered it to him, which he quickly took, his cheeks now burning red.

"O-of c-course," Subaru was able to squeak out.

I personally think pressing it to her cheek will only get your hand bitten, but I am not going to stop an idiot from doing something stupid.

He put it to her cheek, and the red gem started to light up once more. "Can you stop that, your hand is cold!" Felt complained before she bit him just as I expected her to do.

"This changes a lot," Fakeumin said in realization as she picked up the insignia.

"Indeed, now I will have to kill all of you," A woman's voice rang out from behind me, and my {Enemy detection} flared up again, but I reacted to late as everything went black, before I again sat in my usual chair with Eris sitting opposite of me.

/Subaru's POV

I was stroking my hand after that little girl bit me, and then I heard Satella's beautiful voice ring out, before the atmosphere changed drastically as a new woman appeared.

"Indeed, now I will have to kill all of you," She spoke as I heard a thud hit in the floor as I looked at Kazuma's severed head lying next to his body.

"AHH!" My heroine screamed out as she jumped back from the newcomer, I was frozen from a mix and terror and shock as I looked at my companions severed head, the last feeling etched on to his face… tired, wait that couldn't be right.

"PUCK HELP ME!" Satella ordered, even in distress she looked really cute.

"I am here for you!" Puck quickly retorted as he summoned forth a bunch of icicles each the size of a runners baton.

"Oh, you have a spirit, I have never had the pleasure of cutting open a spirits belly before," the woman creepily noted as she kicked Kazuma's head away like a football.

"Cut me loose!" Felt screamed at me only to get a knife stabbed into her back, making me jump back and try and get as far away as possible from this monster.

"I have to slaughter every last one of you, but he seemed the most capable so he had to go first," she pointed to Kazuma's dead body as she licked her bloody knife seductively.

"You will pay for that!" Satella yelled at her in anger, damn she is cute even when she wants to take revenge.

Suddenly Puck summoned forth a sea of icicles and shot them at her in less than a second, if I had blinked I would have missed all of it. "That should have gotten her," Puck noted.

"Don't say that you are going to jinx it!" I yelled out, and of course, the cliché kicked in and when the ice broke away, the woman stood there with a big menacing grin on her face, with her blades drawn.

"I will make sure to kill you next, half-elf!" she exclaimed, her words like poison before she took off from where she stood and rushed behind Satella, quicker than I could even register.

"Not if I kill you first!" Puck stated as he forced a barrier between Satella and the woman's blade. He quickly followed up the defense by shooting icicle after icicle at her, but she either managed to evade them with her acrobatics, or crush them with her blade, that was until her foot got stuck in some of the ice, leaving her an open target for both Satella and Puck.

"You didn't think I was just throwing those around at random, did you?" Puck rhetorically asked with a smug tone.

"Looks like I have been had, oh my," She stated calmly as she nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders.

"Say GOODNIGHT!" Puck cheerfully stated as he and Satella charged up another attack.

First, there was a growing blue light coming from their hands, before a pillar of ice burst forth, heading straight for the pinned down murderer, at a frightening speed. It was about to hit her, but in the last second, she was able to evade being crushed or speared to death by the pillar as she gracefully landed a few meters away from it.

"My how lovely, I thought I was going to die," Her voice sounded euphoric, as she declared it.

"Puck can you keep going?" My heroine nervously asked Puck.

"Sorry, but I am sleepy, think I underestimated her, it is past five and all my mana is gone, so I am done," Puck informed her in a yawn.

"Don't worry I will take care of things out here, so you can rest, thank you for your help" She told him with a smile on her face.

"Remember if anything happens to you, I will act according to my contract. If it comes down to it, call me, even if you have to squeeze me out of my odo," he said as he disappeared, which to me looked like he was dying.

"Oh, you are going away," she said in feigned disappointment as she used an item to stick something around her bleeding foot, stomping it twice, like you would check if a shoe was fitting your foot. "Well, that is terribly unfortunate, FOR YOU!" She maniacally roared, instantly rushing Satella.

"I will beat you!" Satella yelled as she blocked attack after attack from this crazy lady

"And how will you manage that? With him maybe, look at that boy, it is like someone cast a freeze spell on him, since he hasn't even moved an inch to help you," That bitch pointed out, I wouldn't tolerate that so I picked up the first large thing I could use as a weapon, and rushed her.

"Oh my, it seems I triggered something inside him, coming at me with that rusty sword," She mocked, but I didn't falter I pressed on and swung at her, but she wasn't there anymore, and my belly felt warm and wet. No, my stomach burned, as I could feel something wet run down my pants. I fell to the ground clutching my stomach, it was the most pain I had ever felt, the pain just got worse for every second and breathing became the hardest task I have ever faced.

"So sloppy, but let me see," She seductively said as she cut my left arm off, she CUT MY FUCKING ARM OFF.

I wanted to scream but doing so would mean I couldn't breathe so I started to whimper instead. Was I about to die, I didn't want to die like this, scratch that I don't want to die this young, I want to do things with my life. All the sounds around me started to get muffled as I did my best to stay alive. Then I saw Satella fall to the ground next to me, her gentle hand surrounded in light.

"I will find a way to change this, I promise I will save you!" I managed to mutter out as I gripped onto her hand as tightly as I could not letting go, then everything went dark.

/Eris' POV

I had been a little bored lately, so when Kazuma dropped by and was killed, AGAIN, I thought it would be the normal stick of, "Hey, I am dead now, let us talk until Aqua comes and revives me," I did not expect this.

"So, I think I got my head chopped off, again," Kazuma told me in a tired tone, as he stroked his neck.

"Ok, where did you die this time?" I asked him with a smirk.

"Someplace, called Lugnica," He said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Wait what? Where is Lugnica? How did you end up there?" I had so many questions, and saying I was shocked would be an understatement.

"You tell me, I have no clue where I died, I was in Wiz's shop one moment and the next I am suddenly standing next to this guy that is doing a weird pose in the middle of a busy street," Frustration was clear on his face as he explained.

"Ok, Kazuma I am going to see if I can find a world with a place called Lugnica, just stay calm," I tried to calm him, as I started to look for a world with a place called Lugnica.

"Oh, yeah and that guy I met on the street was also from Japan, his name was Subaru Natsuki, but he seemed to be taken directly from Japan and he said he never met any gods or goddesses," Kazuma rambled on as I still couldn't find any world with a place called Lugnica.

"Wait, you said he was taken out of his world without going to heaven first?" I asked nervously.

"Yes, and he didn't have any cheat items or abilities as far as I could tell," Kazuma answered.

"But that would mean someone or something similar in power to the gods dragged him there," I said now looking more intensely through the universe to find a world matching Kazuma's description, but I found nothing, nothing at all. It was like the world didn't exist or rather, someone or something didn't want us gods to know that it exists.

"Figuring it out?" He asked casually, he is the only mortal I can ever remember being so casual with gods and goddesses.

"I can't find the world you died in, which means it is hidden from us gods," I parted with my information to him.

"Yeah, but what does that mean for me now? I am dead, do I get reincarnated in Japan, can I go back to Axel with the others or must I go to heaven?" I could see Kazuma was hoping for the 2nd option, but without Aqua it would be impossible.

"I am sorry Kazuma, but the only options you have now are between reincarnating to Japan or sending your soul to heaven," I managed to tell him, without my voice faltering.

"I… see, could you give me a moment to decide?" Kazuma said as he turned away from me.

"Take the time you need Kazu-"

I was interrupted by the sounds of the barrier to heaven being broken, as a black hand burst into the room and grabbed ahold of Kazuma. This thing was trying to drag Kazuma out of heaven by force, like a DEMON!

"E-ERIS WHAT IS THIS THING, HELP ME!" Kazuma yelled out in panic.

"BEGONE DEMON!" I roared as I shot forward and cut the hand into pieces.

"Pugh, you saved me Eris, thanks, do you know what that thing was?" Kazuma asked snapping me out of my rage, how dare such filth even try to wander into a holy place like this.

"Ah, you know just doing my job, can't have some dark forces dragging you down to hell when you are supposed to pick between reincarnation or heaven," I told him, in my most casual tone.

"T-that thing would have dragged me down to h-hell?" he asked, now clearly frightened.

"Most likely yes, but you don't have to worry, it must have been strong since it got through the barriers, but it is not like there can be any more of them," I told him as I playfully punched him in the arm.

"Eris, don't say things like that," He complained as he got behind me for protection.

"Kazuma I can take on at the very least 100 of those hands with my dagger if it comes down to it so relax," I reassured him, and after a few minutes he let go of my dress and sat back down in his chair.

"I guess it really was only that hand," Kazuma said and instantly close to 200 hands rushed in from everywhere and tried to pin me down, I cut through them at a blistering speed, trying my best to get to Kazuma, but when I got to his chair he was gone and so were the rest of the hands.

"I failed," I angrily muttered to myself this would never happen again, I solemnly swore this would never happen again, no demon or dark forces will ever again get the better of me. I looked back at the chair Kazuma sat in just mere moments ago, a tiny light flickering from the armrest.

"Eris," the light spoke with Kazuma's voice

"Yes, what is it?" I asked fearing the worst.

"I died by getting my head chopped off!" it told me in a tone akin to that of a child telling their parent about something interesting.

"Oh no, a soul piece, this is going to be a nightmare,"

"Eris, I died by getting my head chopped off!" the soul piece repeated the one memory it had, oh please Kazuma if you can get back to heaven do it as quickly as possible.

/Third person POV

Kazuma was being dragged through what seemed like time as pictures flickered before him, before it stopped and he could see two guys sitting down by an apple stand. He tried to reach out and touch it, but before he reached it a voice rang out.

FORGET EVERYTHING, ONLY MY CHOSEN ONE SHALL REMEMBER ANYTHING!

Subaru died in another loop in the meantime without either Emelia or Kazuma, since Kazuma detained Felt by pure chance, while he ran to the loot house alone. Subaru was killed by Elsa when she got mad that Felt didn't show up, so she decided to kill both Rom and the now stressed out Subaru.

/Kazuma's POV

I suddenly got this light headache, it wasn't much, but it still hurt a little bit. I looked over at Subaru, he seemed to be staring off into space, like there was nobody home.

"Hey Subaru, you there, wakey-wakey," I said, while waving my hand in front of him.

"HUH," was the only response I got as he looked at me in complete confusion.

"Oh, I know what will get you out of your trance," I said as I smacked him.

"Hey what you do that for!" Subaru yelled back at me from the ground as he rubbed his now even redder cheek.

"You were daydreaming about something, and you gave me a dumb response so I smacked you back to earth, no need to thank me," I said as I couldn't help but give him a smug smirk.

He didn't give me any immediate response he just started looking around in shock, then he opened his plastic bag and I could see my favorite type of chip. I would take that off him later for sure, it feels like I just ate it a few hours ago, but it has been so long since I have eaten one of those so that can't be right, probably just nostalgia kicking in.

"What's going on, it was nighttime just a few minutes ago, right?" He muttered to himself, I feared he was going senile, or more likely crazy. I might have to put his usefulness down a peg in that case.

Suddenly he lifted up his shirt to reveal his stomach, he is well-trained, which means he might be able to beat up some thugs on his own. Nice I got a brute, those are easy enough to predict, let me put his usefulness back to "low" until I have seen him fight.

"Why are you staring at me with those scary eyes of yours?" I said a bit unnerved by his expression.

"Ehm, this might sound strange, but have you died recently?" He asked me in a worried tone, I did not expect that kind of question.

"Have you seen me die recently?" hmm, maybe this guy has some sort of cheat item after all.

"Well…" He stopped talking all of a sudden before he fell over and started to hyperventilate. I caught him before he hit the ground. He was as pale as a ghost.

"Hey dude chill, what happened to you just now?" I asked a little worried.

"I s-saw t-this…" he abruptly stopped speaking and breathing as his face was etched with fear.

"HUUH, HOOH," Subaru took deep breaths as he snapped back to reality, or whatever he was doing. I would call him a weirdo, but he doesn't seem to be doing it on purpose.

"You know what, just don't tell me, I don't need to know," I said, letting him catch his breath, as his face regained its color.

He sat up looked around before he pushed me out of the way all of a sudden, "Hey! Wait up, HANG ON! PLEASE, WAIT FOR ME! WAIT UP! SATEEELLAA!" Subaru yelled out, while running after a silver-haired girl, making everyone around me look at him with fearful and disgusted looks at the mention of the name. This guy probably just said something really taboo. I think I am just going to leave him by himself for a moment. Oh, that alleyway looks enticing.

I went inside the alleyway as I could hear the people around me start to reprimand Subaru. When I couldn't hear anything I sat myself down on the stone stairs in the alleyway. It was then I realized something terrible, I had forgotten to take Subaru's bag of chips. "DAMNIT!" I exclaimed in frustration as I looked up to see three people standing in front of me.

"Cough up whatever you got and we won't have to hurt you!" A thin tallboy with blue-greyish hair commanded as his to companions did their best to look intimidating, the big guy kind of pulled it off because of his size, but the midget was hopeless. Why do I feel like I have seen these people before?

"Do you guys ever get that feeling of déjà vu?" I blurted out as I thought out loud.

"What are you talking about?" The big pile of meat queried a little dumbfounded by my question.

"Stop talking BS and just cough up your money!" the midget commanded which just made me laugh.

"Oh you think we are funny, let's see how funny you think this is," The middle guy threatened to pull out a knife, I had a feeling he had another one, but not certain why I felt that.

"Cool, let me take a closer look {Steal}," I chanted creating a blue light in my hand and the next second I held his knife and immediately started to inspect it. It was taken care of very well, seemed to be polished and sharpened regularly.

"Hey give that back!" Knife-boy yelled at me as he brandished his 2nd knife.

"Nah, but you can keep that one {Lurk}," I chanted as I disappeared from their view.

"Wait, did he just steal from us?" the brute pointed out.

"Was my favorite knife too," Knife-boy complained as I walked past them.

"Hey! Look over there, he is alone, let's rob him instead," The midget said as he pointed at Subaru, good god this man was unlucky, but let us see how he handles this situation.

"Give us all your money and valuables, or else we are going to have to hurt you, and I am in a bad mood so make it quick!" Knife-boy threatened as he brandished his 2nd knife, which didn't seem to face Subaru.

"JUST STOP IT ALREADY, NOBODY COULD BE THIS DAMN PERSISTENT," Subaru yelled at them, had he met them before or something.

"You think you can mouth off to us!?" Knife-boy asked rhetorically as he did a cool twirl with his knife, which also didn't face Subaru, he is either stupid or really brave.

"NOW MOVE IT! I have somewhere I have to go and you guys are in my way!" Subaru complained as he walked into the guy with the knife, and he got stabbed in the back. So it was stupidity after all. Luckily I caught him before he hit the ground, as the three robbers tried to process what just happened.

"YOU STABBED HIM!? Oh man, now you have done it," the brute complained, clearly hurting him was never the intention.

"IT JUST HAPPENED! He walked right into my blade," Knife-boy protested, as the midget tried to retrieve the knife from Subaru's back, but I stopped him with {Bind} as I quickly bound the other two.

"Calm your breathing Subaru and lay still I will get help, and you guys better scream for help too or else you are joining him," I threatened as I threw the knife right next to Knife-boy's head to reaffirm my point. Now scared they started to scream for help as I ran out of the alleyway to find a healer or something.

"I NEED A HEALER MY FRIEND HAS BEEN STABBED!" I yelled quickly grabbing the attention of the same silver-haired girl that Subaru had just insulted unknowingly. Tough luck, if she recognizes you bud and don't want to help but got no other choice.

"I can help!" She yelled, her voice eerily familiar to Megumin's, I gestured her to follow after me as I ran back into the alley.

"What happened here?" she asked as she laid eyes on the scenes.

"A robbery gone wrong, but I need your help with the safe removal of the knife and healing him," I listed as she got down on her knees next to Subaru, she either didn't care about his insult earlier or she didn't recognize him.

"Ok, I will slowly remove the knife as you heal him, understood?" I asked for confirmation as I put my hand to the knife.

"Understood!" Fake Megumin answered with full concentration.

A light started to shine from her hands as she put it down to the wound, as I began to remove the knife. Her healing wasn't exactly Aqua level, but it was better than nothing. The wound seemed to slowly put itself together, but that would leave a scar. Where is that useless goddess when you actually need her.

"That is all I can do for now, will he be alright with you?" Fakeumin asked in a worried tone.

"He is not bleeding anymore so that is a big improvement, I will leave these three for the authorities, maybe I can sell these knives somewhere," I said walking over to the robbers as they stared at me with fear etched into their faces as I removed the knife from the wall.

"Wait, I remember this guy, he was the one calling you Satella," A grey and white cat spoke up as it emerged from her silver hair.

"You are right Puck, maybe he knows how to find my insignia," Fakeumin realized.

"Wait, insignia, like a red gem in the middle?" I asked, don't know why that popped up in my head, but it did.

"How did you know that?" Puck asked me, now suspicious.

"I guessed," I simply retorted.

"Hmm, ok, do you have a way to wake him up quickly? We are kind of on a time crunch," Puck questioned.

"Sure {Freeze}," I put my finger near his neck as I sprayed him with cold air.

"COLD! AUCH, THAT HURTS!" Subaru woke up suddenly as he tried to get away from me, but quickly went on his knees as he clutched his now mostly healed wound.

"Don't move too much, I just healed you," Fakeumin reprimanded.

"So do you know who stole this girl's Insignia," I said pointing to Fakeumin.

"Ehm, well you see," Subaru had a hard time speaking the moment he looked at Fakeumin, why do I have the feeling he has fallen for her.

"Spit it out already, do you know or do you not know!" Puck hurried on snapping Subaru out of his trance.

"Her name is Felt, I know the way to where she is planning to sell your insignia," Subaru blurted out, sounding like he had dealt with this before. "Just follow me-AUCH," He again stumbled to his knees as he forgot about his wound.

"I will carry you, just tell me where to walk," I said lifting the guy up on my back.

And so followed the hour-long journey to the loot house, Subaru didn't know the exact directions so we had to wander a bit back and forth before we got there. It was almost like he only knew the way halfway like he had been distracted the first time he took the route.

"This is it," Subaru confidently declared from my back, he was much heavier than Megumin so when he stated that I dropped him immediately.

"OUCH! Why didn't you warn me?" Subaru complained as his ass hit the ground.

"My arms just gave out," I lied as I dramatically flung my arms around, which made Puck chuckle.

"Someone has to knock on the door, but we need a disguise for her," Subaru said pointing to Fakeumin.

"Put this on, even my best friend doesn't even recognize me with this on," I said handing her my mask.

"Oh, ok, so it is kind of like my cape," She blurted out as she put it on.

"Now knock on the door Kazuma," He instructed, as I did. Hearing some big footsteps coming towards the door.

"For a rat!?" A deep voice rang out through the door.

"Ehm, Poison," Subaru answered after thinking about it.

"For a whale!?" The voice rang out again.

"let me think, a harpoon," Subaru answered again.

"And the noble dragon lord?!" The voice said again, Subaru was clearly guessing correctly.

"Are bags of shit," Subaru answered as the door finally opened, to reveal a giant old man, sorry it was an enormous old man. I instinctively shot my hand down to my mithril rope.

"Who are you three?" he asked as he narrowed his eyes at us.

"We are here for the insignia Felt stole, and I have a metia with me that is worth at the very least 20 holy coins," Subaru explained as he pulled out a flip-phone.

"Let me take a look at that," The man said stretching out his enormous hand to Subaru, which Subaru promptly gave to him. I thought he was going to crush it for a second, but the man actually handled it with a surprising amount of care.

"How does it work?" The old man asked confused.

"Give it back and I will show you," Subaru gestured his hand as he got the phone returned to him, and Subaru instantly took a picture of the man, which angered him at first, because of the flash, but then Subaru showed him the picture of him, and the angry expression went away as curiosity returned.

"Hmm, yeah, I could definitively see this going for 20 holy coins, even more," He said as he studied it closer a 2nd time.

"Felt should be here in a bit, but since you knew the password, you can sit down and drink with me," He said gesturing to the bar, catching my interest immediately.

"Very well, nothing like a good drink, what do you have?" I asked intently.

"For you young one I got milk, while I got some beer if the lady or scary eyes would want some," He said as he sat down behind the bar.

"I don't drink, I am only 17," Subaru excused himself, which meant I couldn't drink, FUCK!

"Wait you are 17, I thought you were like max 13," Fakeumin blurted, which made me laugh uncontrollably.

"How old do you think Kazuma is?" Subaru asked pointing to me, which made me freeze as I waited for the answer.

"Ehm, like 20, because he seems to be so well adjusted in battle and he is taking care of you," Fakeumin guessed, oh blessed be Eris for this wonderful luck.

"Yes, that is completely correct, I would like one beer please," I calmly stated as I sat myself down by the bar, much to Subaru's shock, as he also sat down and started to drink his milk, while Fakeumin refrained from drinking anything.

"The beer is ok, what is your name?" I asked zipping the beer, which was worse than what I was used to, but hey FREE BEER.

"Name is Rom, you seem like a guy who has been out drinking before, based on how you handle the taste," Rom deduced as he took a big swig from his glass.

"That's right, have had to help my companion get home after our drunken nights," I proudly stated as I took my own swig.

"If you guys drink that hard while the sun is still up, you will die young," Subaru warned, which I just chuckled at, while Rom laughed heartily.

"I think my young days are over, so it doesn't matter to me," Rom answered with a big smile on his face.

"How much would you say this is worth?" I asked pulling out one of my 1M Eris coins.

"Hmm, a gold coin, but it doesn't seem to be the standard of Lugnica, so I would say… based on the weight, 50 holy silver coins," He explained as Subaru looked at me in shock, while Fakeumin stared at the gold coin.

After having our items appraised I heard 2 knocks on the door, as Rom went up to the door and did the same password routine. And in came a girl in a standard thief outfit, similar to Chris', she had golden blonde hair that was about shoulder length, only that her hair was tied up with a neat little black ribbon. The most striking feature I noticed was her eyes, crimson red eyes that reminded me of Megumin. Hell her body type was the same as Megumin's.

"Who are these three, I can't remember any of these people," Felt remarked, as she gestured to us, the mask was working as it usually does. Distorting voice and making it impossible to see who the person was.

"They are interested in the insignia you swiped," Rom informed, which made Fakeumin twitch involuntary.

"So, you guys are also interested in the insignia?" Felt questioned us as she got up closer to inspect us.

"Yeah, and we got things more valuable than what your original buyer can offer for the insignia," Subaru informed, he seemed to be in a hurry.

"Oh, do you now? Because my original buyer is offering me 10 holy silver coins for it," Felt proudly informed as she held up all 10 fingers.

"In that case Felt, the one with the creepy eyes has a metia worth at least 20 holy silver coins, but that guy in the green cape got gold worth at least 50 holy silver coins on him," Rom whispered the last part so we wouldn't hear it, but I used {Lip reading} to listen in on the conversation.

"So, you are interested in the insignia right?" Felt asked now clearly trying to test our interest, which both Subaru and Fakeumin fell for, while I stayed calm. Unless you could read my mind like Vanir, I was pretty hard to read.

"Yes, do you have it on you now?" Fakeumin asked as she got closer to the little girl, which made her instinctively back off.

"Calm it, sister, yes look, here it is," Felt presented the insignia and the red gem in the middle shone brightly, like Megumin's eyes when she gets excited. Stop thinking about Megumin.

"Oh, my," Fakeumin said as she stared on the red gem glowing, like in a trance.

"Of course, I have to wait for my original buyer, to see if she can offer a higher bid, but I will, of course, see you as business rivals,"

"Felt, she can't offer any higher than 20 holy silver coins, and this metia is worth at least that, hell Kazuma here has something worth 50 holy silver coins, just give back the insignia," Subaru got stressed and blurted out words he shouldn't have, "give back".

"What do you mean give back? Wait for a second, that dress, it is YOU!" Felt suddenly jumped back as she recognized Fakeumin.

"Well, I don't need this one anymore then," she said as she threw the mask back to me and summoned forth 6 big icicles as weapons.

"Silver hair, purple eyes, elf ears are you-" Felt voice was filled with growing fear as Fakeumin cut her off.

"It is just an unlucky resemblance, Felt was it, that insignia is priceless, not only to me, but also to you, if you would come with us freely we don't need to get into a fight, I promise you a much greater reward than anything that has been mentioned today," Fakeumin pleaded with the girl, and for some reason I felt that using {Lurk} right now would be smart.

"What kind of reward is that supposed to be?" Felt asked now on guard as she pulled out her blade.

"You will-"

"PUCK QUICK SHIELD HER!" Subaru suddenly yelled as a barrier popped up behind Fakeumin, barely able to shield the girl from a backstab, I would probably done the same if I was in the attacker's shoes, well it revealed itself to be a pretty smoking hot woman in high heels, so I would probably have stumbled in them.

"That was fast thinking, cutting it a bit closer than I would have wanted, but you saved us," Puck praised Subaru.

"My, my, so crowded it is here, with the owner of the insignia here we can't exactly do business can we?" The woman asked rhetorically as she brandished a pretty cool blade, she gave of a deadly aura I am more familiar with than I want.

"Zip it BITCH! I AM SICK OF YOUR CRAP, I HAVE BEEN STABBED ONCE TODAY ALREADY, AND I HAVE NO PLANS ON DOING IT AGAIN!" Subaru spoke like he had met this woman before and he had tussled with her earlier just to lose. There is something fishy about how much Subaru knows all of a sudden.

"Great information, so the little puppy is hurt, which means you will be the last one I take out," The woman smiled wickedly as she took a glance around the room, probably counting everyone. "4 plus a spirit, this should be fun," she silently whispered to herself, making me smile deviously.

"Now! Get her PUCK!" Subaru finally finished his rant as he pointed at the enemy. Then a whole fight with Fakeumin and Puck vs the voluptuous murderer ensued. I could explain the fight to you, but let us just skip to where I save the day.

"My how lovely I thought I was going to die," She said, which just was the perfect line for me to do my entry. So I brandished Chunchunmaru, (god damnit why did Megumin name this) as I used {Dash} to get behind her and did a simple stab to the neck, which made my blade stick out from her throat. Was it a dirty move, yes, did I win by doing it, also yes.

"You raised a flag," Subaru and I simultaneously remarked as I dodged away from her blade, and in a last-ditch effort she threw a throwing knife that hit Subaru in the right shoulder before she fell to the ground completely dead.

"Just to be sure," I said as I cut her head off with my two newly acquired knives.

"That BITCH, SHE HIT ME!" Subaru complained as he stared at the knife protruding from his shoulder.

"She didn't hit me," I remarked with a grin on my face as I felt something hot drip down my legs, and a burning sensation started to spread throughout my stomach. I looked down to see a big gash on my stomach.

"Wait, she actually did, I am going to need the healing first," I said with a dumb grin on my face, probably too much adrenaline in me to feel any more pain, as I fell to the ground and passed out.

/Subaru's POV

I didn't expect Kazuma to play things so dirty, but it works so who cares. If I remember correctly Kazuma got killed from behind by her, so by some form of poetic justice he killed her from behind this time. It was all fine and dandy until I got a knife stuck in my shoulder and Kazuma got his belly sliced open.

"Could you tell me your name?" I asked, not Satella as I sat down next to her while she was healing Kazuma.

"Sure, it is Emelia," She said in a hurried tone since she was occupied with Kazuma at the moment.

"So what are you going to do with Felt and old man Rom?"

"They are going to be guests at lord Roswall's mansion until further notice, I also have a friend there that can properly fix you both up," Emelia explained.

"Aren't you healing him now?" I asked a little confused.

"I am only stabilizing him, my friend can heal you both much better than anything I can do," She explained as Felt came over to us with Rom behind her.

"What do you mean by "guests until further notice"?" Felt asked a little suspicion present in her voice.

"I mean you get to eat and sleep at the mansion until we know what noble house that would want to represent you as the next ruler candidate," Emilia happily explained as I passed out from blood loss, while Felt and Rom passed out from shock.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazuma, Felt and Subaru were all put into their own rooms after Beatrice had fully healed them. Then Beatrice put them in each their own endless hallway to see how they would escape from it. Of course there was a possibility to open the correct door on first try, but the odds of that happening was 1/300, and each time they closed a door it would just be added back to the odds. The intended way to solve it is by leaving the doors open as you keep opening them until you either give up or find the way out. So let us see how they each solve it.

Subaru's POV

"I don't know this ceiling," I muttered to myself before I sat up in this giant bed, with an extremely well-decorated room. The walls were white with what looked like wheat put on the walls in either gold or gold paint. This was very different from my old stinky room. It smelled clean and I couldn't see any signs of dust.

The wound in my shoulder is gone, and so is the wound in my back, must have been Emilia with her healing powers and all. Well can't stay here for forever, I got to find someone or else I might starve to death. I guess getting healed makes one hungry.

Ok, cool painting. Well, it would be rude of me to keep this door open might as well just close it.

Well, at any rate I didn't have to use Return by death this time around thanks to Kazuma, I guess I have to thank him for that, on the other hand he did leave me for those bullies so he kind of owed me.

Why do I have to walk around in this hallway, isn't a cute girl supposed to be by my side when I wake up that cutely asks "Are you awake?" while she spent all night caring for me while I was asleep and healing, so far this fantasy world is kind of lame.

Third time I have gone past that painting, am I in a looping hallway. I quickly opened a door to check my theory and the room was completely empty. So I can't escape this hallway until I find the correct door, the typical pattern dictates that the first door is likely the goal.

"What a profoundly irritating and aggravating man you are, I suppose" a little drill-loli in a red-pinkish dress said the moment I came in the door.

"The first NPC found, you are going to ruin your cute little face with that cold attitude of yours, come on smile, smile for me," I mocked the little girl sitting on her chair while inspecting what seemed like a giant library.

"The only smile appropriate to give you is a derisive sneer," she said keeping up her cold façade, so this is probably the usual tsundere character I see in my video games.

"Are you upset because I guessed the right door so quickly," I continued to mock her, it was pretty fun after all.

"I have always been pretty lucky when it comes to stuff like that," I kept on while stretching a little. "I can understand why the gamemasters would make me want to see all the cutscenes, but sorry, so what is this place anyway?" I asked dropping the condescending tone as I asked for a genuine answer.

"Betty's multi-purpose room, which serves as a library and bedroom, I suppose" she quickly recited, I was a little disappointed by the quick and blunt response.

"Talk about your token response, so are you one of those manual girls?" I asked again, maybe a little too snarky because she slammed her book together in what seemed like anger but on her it just looked cute.

"Betty had just about enough of you, I think it is time to teach you a lesson, I suppose," she tried to act intimidating as she walked over to me with her cute little legs, but I will play along.

"Hang on, what are you going to do to me," I acted scared as I backed away.

"Stay right there and don't you dare move!" Her tone shifted completely which sent a genuine shiver down my spine, this loli might be more powerful than I first thought.

"Anything you would like to say?" She asked in an overly-cute voice, ok I had definitely taken my teasing too far, let me see if I can smooth thing over.

"How about don't hurt me, he heh," I tried to laugh off the intimidating aura she put off right now, as I gave her the best smile I was able to muster. In response she gently put her hand on my chest, it was so small and-

"AHHHHOWW!" It felt like someone just electrocuted me and then started to steal all my energy, before I collapsed to the floor, not even able to stand anymore.

"What did you do to me you drill-haired loli?" I barely managed to utter as things started to go black.

"I only collected the mana from your body, I suppose, by doing so I have confirmed that you are not an enemy," she answered in her non-cholent tone like she didn't just beat my whole body with a fucking hammer.

"Y-you little freak, you are not human are you, I mean outside of your sparkling personality," I couldn't stop myself from getting in a jab.

"Took you long enough to notice I suppose," she smiled, clearly taking pleasure in my pain.

"I take it back your personality isn't human either," I jabbed again with some of my last energy.

"Do not measure a proud noble being such as myself by your standards, human," She said as she turned her back on me, the last thing I saw before everything went black was the back of her dress.

Felt's POV, she woke up at the same time as Subaru

Where the fuck am I, huh, why am I in a pink bathrobe? Did that elf girl kidnap me? Where are all my clothes? I quickly tried to pry the window open but it wouldn't budge. I then tried to open the door, which luckily worked leading me out in a hallway. I tried to rush down the hallway to find a way out of it, but when I had seen the same painting a few times I understood that this hallway was looping.

I quickly opened a door, but the room was completely empty. They have trapped me in a magical pocket, how do I escape from this. I have never seen this before. I quickly rushed down the hallway checking 20 doors in the blink of an eye. But it seemed like the wind I created in the hallway shut all the doors I had opened. After having opened around 500 doors I needed to relax, clearly, this wasn't working.

"Maybe if I keep the doors open, I can see if the exit appears in one of the rooms, but that means I have to open doors for the next hour, why does this have to be so tedious," I openly complained, which my captors probably enjoyed.

Meanwhile with Kazuma, awakes at Felt's 200th normal door opening

Ok, I am sleeping in a bed that has been newly washed, the bed is just as big as I am used to, I don't feel any wounds or pain in my stomach, surely it was all a bad dream and I will open my eyes and see my… room.

"Oh Fuck!" I swore loudly to myself as I got out of bed and checked that I had been equipped with a green bathrobe, I wonder if I can get to keep this, it is very comfortable after all.

"Wonder who healed me, usually only Aqua can heal me this good, and Fakeumin isn't on her level from what I can tell, so another powerful healer has to be in this mansion," I noted to myself, would have to note it down when I got my stuff back.

"I need to find the kitchen, since I am hungry, they wouldn't mind that after I saved Fakeumin, right?" I questioned myself as I opened the door and looked into the hallway filled with doors when I suddenly felt a sudden urge to pee.

"Got to find the toilet first then, could it be this door?" I asked myself as I opened the door to see a little drill-haired loli in a pink dress looking at something extremely funny, she suddenly slammed the book together and gave me a death stare. I had clearly interrupted something, and from experience, I know that lolis are the most OP people you can meet in a fantasy world, so better apologize and leave.

"Sorry for interrupting," I quickly shot in before she got to say anything as I shut the door.

"Ok, now back to finding the toilet and then the kitchen," I reiterated to myself as I opened a door parallel to this drill-haired loli's library, not really thinking much about it, and I walked straight back into the library, and I think must have had the same face of confusion as her, but I quickly bolted out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

"Ok, that was stupid of me, of course, that big library would have to entrances, but if I go across the hallway, there is no chance of me walking in on her again," I loudly said to myself, as I opened the door and walked inside without looking, until I was stopped by a tiny hand on my chest, and I could feel a chill go down my spine as I looked down, to see none other than the same girl, with an even more irritated facial expression.

"Just go to sleep, I suppose," she said with an icy-cold voice, as I on instinct put my hand on her chest and started {Drain touch} at just the same time as she started to drain my mana.

I felt pain all across my body, with the only thing giving me some relief being my arm. I grit my teeth together as I tried to fight through the pain.

"P-please… stop," I begged her but she wouldn't stop, I tried to look into her eyes for some mercy, but all I saw was… tears. I did my best to blink away my tears that had accumulated in my eyes, and I managed to keep an eye open long enough that tears were indeed rolling down her face. I guess me using {Drain touch} on her hurt me just as much as it hurt her, well if she would stop I would also stop. I was practically just doing this in self-defense.

"FINALLY!" Another voice rang out from behind me, as I heard the door to the library was slammed open. I wasn't able to turn my head but managed one thing.

"H-help!" I barely managed to sputter out, hopefully, the newcomer would help me get rid of this merciless girl.

"Huh, oh I recognize you, you are the rich guy right, but I haven't seen you before, why are you both crying, with such pained expression," It was Felt, Felt was on the left side of me wondering why we were in pain, couldn't she see that we were sucking each other's mana out in an attempt to make the other one pass out.

"G-get h-her o-off m-me," I tried my best to say, but each word was really hard to get out my mouth, and it made my throat feel dry, which again made it even more difficult to breathe.

"Ok, I guess since you killed that crazy bitch I can get this "super dangerous" little girl off you," She teased me, I swear if she doesn't get me off this torturous loli, I am punching her if I survive this.

"HIYAH!" Felt yelled before she sent a strong kick into my chest, which did indeed get the pink little girl off of me, but it also knocked the air out of me.

"Cough, cough, w-was that really necessary?" I complained as I laid on the cold checkerboard floor, heaving for air as my natural pain-killer kicked in, blessed be endorphins.

"I did get her off you, didn't I?" Felt teased again, this girl was getting on my nerves, but before I was able to come up with a response-

"OUT!" The little girl yelled, her voice cracking, as both I and Felt were thrown out of the library by some invisible force. I crashed into a soft carpet, which was lucky until Felt landed on top of me.

"Ouch," both I and Felt complained as she rushed off me and forced the door open, I could feel she wanted to retaliate for the loli's little stunt. But when she opened the door, it was a toilet there, which was super lucky for me, I hurriedly pushed her to the side and rushed inside, quickly slamming the door behind me.

"Just in time," I uttered in pure bliss as I relieved myself.

"HIYAH!" Felt yelled as I barely managed to dodge her kick this time. She quickly tried to take another jab at me but I dodged that too, as I stepped off the carpet and quickly yanked it away from under her.

"Stop that, you have hurt me enough for today, let us just work together on finding some food to eat for now," I suggested, mentioning food always worked on Megumin and Komekko, might work on this girl too.

"Hmm, ok, but don't try anything funny rich guy," She warned me as she got up off from the floor, she was pretty cute in that pink bathrobe.

"Funny you call me rich, I just recently got out of a ton of debt," I informed her with a smile as I lead the way down the hallway.

"An actual turn, HOORAY!" She suddenly exclaimed, surprising me.

"What is up with you, why are you so happy that there is a sudden left turn?" I asked with clear curiosity.

"Weren't you also stuck in that endless hallway? I had to open so many doors, and can you believe that when there are 1 out of hundreds of doors that it is the last door I pick I find something else than an empty room in," She complained while waving wildly with her arms.

"I had the opposite problem, every door I tried lead to that library, I even tried three different doors, the last one I just walked in without looking and then I ended up in having a mana draining battle, I do not recommend trying it by the way," I quickly added as she just stared wide-eyed at me.

"Are you telling me, you got the correct room three times in a row?" She asked in a tone of astonishment.

"I guess…"

"Every time I opened something it was an empty room," She said as she tried to prove her saying by opening a door, that leads straight to the kitchen.

"We can talk more about our hardships over a meal," I noted as Felt stood totally still and marveled at the bread on the table, before she threw herself at it and practically inhaled it, a little faster than even Komekko would be able to.

"I haven't eaten so well, in AGES, oh did you want some?" She asked me when there only was a few crumbs left.

"I'll rather try and cook something together with what I can find here, than eating some of your leftover crumbs," I told her as I activated my {Cooking} skill.

"Ok, suit yourself, snob," She whispered the last word, but I didn't care, I saw so many delicious ingredients all around me, and with my cooking skill active I could already map out all the different recipes I could make, so I began.

Felt's POV

The bread was maybe the most food I have had all week, and then this guy just turns down totally fresh crumbs, like make something better if you can, but don't look down on crumbs, food is food after all.

When I looked up from all the crumbs I had been able to eat I looked back to see something magical. This dude was quickly chopping potatoes up in little dices, with one hand, as he prepared the stove with some fire magic.

He then put one frying pan on with some oil in it as he suddenly held a piece of meat in his other hand, which he started to cut into super tiny slices with just one hand.

I gazed back to the stove and there was a pot with boiling water in it, how did he get boiling water so quickly.

The potatoes then all landed in the pot perfectly, at the same time as the thinly-sliced meat perfectly spread out in the air and landed in the frying pan, with each millimeter perfectly accounted for.

I tried to see what the guy was doing now, and he had already peeled and chopped some carrots, which quickly flew into the same pot with the potatoes.

Mesmerized by how he was always able to get the ingredients in the right spot without fail, I totally missed that he had spiced and flipped the meat.

Before I even knew it this guy had flipped all the contents of the frying pan into two separate things. In a smaller pot, he had collected all the fluids and oil from the cooking as he drained the meat for its last drop of fat, making my mouth fill with saliva as the smell hit me.

He then placed the meat evenly on two white dishes, which I never saw him get.

The little pot he had collected the frying pan's juices with he put back on the stove as he proceeded to make a sauce out of it, which was also spread out on the meat, before he drained away all the boiling water from the pot and mashed its contents with butter and spices, before putting it on the dish.

"I present you some food a [snob] like me would eat," He put extra pressure on the word, he had clearly heard my insult, how embarrassing.

"Thanks!" I quickly said as I tried to get a bite of the food, but he snatched it away from me before I even got my hands on the dish with the heavenly food.

"HEY! I said thanks, why can't I have-" I tried to protest but he cut me off.

"If you eat too much very quick you are going to get sick, my friend's sister was malnourished and ate like no tomorrow before she threw up, so take it slow," He said to me in a calm voice, when I nodded in agreement he handed the plate back to me, and I took my first bite at it was to put it simply, heavenly.

"Ish leally good," I managed to utter as I quickly went in for another bite, before the plate was snatched away, AGAIN.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth, and didn't I just tell you to eat slowly," He scolded me as he gulped down the spoonful I had gotten.

"I am not a dog, you can't just take away my food all the time, just let me eat in peace, why do you even care about how I eat?!" I asked as he looked at me with a dumbfounded expression for a quick second before he changed to something totally unreadable.

"Yeah, why do I even care about you, here eat it if you want, don't say I didn't warn you," He said in a cold tone before he left the kitchen. He didn't even touch his plate of food, but I actually took his advice as I slowly but surely started to eat my food, each bite was so good that I actually started to cry a little.

"My, oh my, what do we have heeere," a man in really weird clothes said in a weird tone as he entered the kitchen and looked at the plate of food Kazuma had left.

"Who are you?" I interrogated the best I could as I backed away from him with my plate of food.

"Do not worry, I won't harm youuuu, and as for who I am, I am the lord of this mansion Roswaal L Mathers, which meeeans that this kitchen and aaaall its content belong to me," this peculiar guy stated as he took a bite of the food that other guy in the green bathrobe had prepared, I could see that for a split-second he reacted to the food with a slight smile, before returning to his "normal" expression.

"What are you going to do to me?" I asked, while I did my best to hide my fear.

"You have nooothing to fear, you aaare my guest after aaall, was it you that made this wonderful diiish?" He asked in what I guess was a curious tone, as I was able to relax a bit more, but I still didn't sit back down next to him.

"No, the guy in the green bathrobe made this, wait he even cleaned it all up," I was even more astonished when I actually noticed that there were no traces of the food other than on the plates.

"Hmm, interesting, I will have to take a taaalk with him later," He noted as we finished both our plates in about the same time. We both studied each other keeping an eye on what the other did before we returned our attention back to the food.

I thought for sure he would have taken my plate away at any time, but he just kept on being silent. He might have just been enjoying the food, I know I was, but I still felt something off about this guy.

"Ram, would you pleeease escort this candidate back to her roooom," He said as a red-pink haired maid with red eyes emerged from the shadows.

"As you wish Lord Roswaal," She quickly said as she bowed to the lord guy and directed her attention back at me. "If you would please follow me, miss…"

"Felt, just call me Felt," I quickly shot in.

"Very well, if you would please follow me, Miss Felt, I will show you your new room," Ram was it, said before she escorted me to a giant room, this bedroom, could pretty much go for a house on its own. Rom even sat there with an almost identical maid, except for the blue hair and eyes, guess they were twins.

"Oh Felt, how good to finally see you in person, I was this close to bust down the wall myself and go looking for you," Rom said, like the big grandpa he was.

"Rem has this brute behaved, or have you had difficulties handling him," Ram asked in a cold tone.

"No big sister, he has behaved most excellently expect for the threats about if he didn't see his granddaughter by the next hour he would tear the wall down," Rem answered, with a slight smile I barely picked up on.

"Now that I know she is safe I can go to sleep," Rom stated before he quickly fell asleep on the spot and started to snore loudly.

"Miss Felt, if you want we can remove your grandpa to another room, to let you rest in peace," Ram offered.

"No need, it is good to see him again, might as well just sleep on the other side of the room, you can leave now," I said as I tried to push them outside, which they quickly complied to.

"Too used to you snoring anyway, so sleeping without it would just feel unnatural," I told to the sleeping giant before I jumped onto the giant bed and promptly fell asleep.

Kazuma's POV

Tears? Why am I crying? All she asked was why I cared about her, even I don't know why I practically just met the girl. Why did I just leave like that, I was hungry as well. I wiped away my tears as I took hurried steps down the hallway.

"Are you ok?" Megumin's voice rang out behind me, I turned around so quickly I could have given myself whiplash.

"Oh, it's you," I bluntly said as I felt immeasurable disappointment rush over me when I saw Fakeumin.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," She quickly excused herself as she backed away from me, probably to give me some space.

"No, it is fine, what did you want?" I asked as I turned my head away from her, to look out the window. It was pitch dark outside, so it was probably night.

"I wanted to thank you for helping me get rid of that attacker, what would you want as a reward?" she asked, while carefully taking a step closer on my right side.

"Get me back home," I whispered to myself, without thinking over my words.

"Ok, I will do my best to get you back home, so where are you from?" She suddenly asked so she could hear me with those ears, FUCK!

"I am from the same country as Subaru, but I don't live there anymore," I told her, which I meant quite literally.

"So, where do you live… Kazuma?" She seemed to recall from when Subaru blurted it out or did he make us introduce ourselves to each other. Man, my memory is groggy.

I didn't know what to say, this was a different world, she probably wanted some details, but it needed to sound like a place that could also be from here. Ok, think, what is probably something another country of this world must have, which also Belzberg has. The strongest military, yeah that could be it, ok I got to hope this country doesn't have the strongest army or else I am fucked.

"You know, I come from the country with the greatest military investments in the world," I said, with a poker face.

"My oh my, sooo you are from Vollachia Empire, hooow exciting," A guy suddenly said as he appeared behind Fakeumin, his outfit was one of a kind, and he wore it with confidence, which could only mean that he was either a noble or a clown.

"I bet you are a noble," I quickly shot in, which made his smile a little wider.

"My, how perceeeptive, smart and good cook on top of thaaat, you are indeed aaa very interesting individual," He said, which made my skin crawl, my experience told me something was off about this noble, or that might just be my bias talking.

"Thanks, now do you guys know what happened to all my stuff?" I asked since I felt Fakeumin would agree to return my stuff, which hopefully would push this lord to comply with my demands.

"Indeeed, your equipment should be in your room, I will leeead you there," The Lord said as he put a hand out to silently inquire me to walk by his side.

"I don't believe you have introduced yourself, isn't that common courtesy around here," I shot in if I could build some goodwill with this lord I would probably be able to use his name later down the line to get out of a tight spot.

"Oh how rude of meee, my name is Roswaal L Mathers I am the Lord of this mansion, and this is Emilia, the one I support as the next hero candidate," He said as he gestured to the silver-haired girl. Fuck, I know her name now, this is what I didn't want to happen.

"Ok, and the whole insignia thing probably proves who's a worthy candidate, like it did with Felt," I just blurted out, too hungry to really think.

"Indeed, and if it weren't for youuu and your compaaanion, we would still be waiting for the 5th candidaaate, so thanks to you the prooocess of picking the next ruler can soooon begin," Roswaal said as he started to walk, me and Emilia quickly following.

"So both Emilia and Felt can become the next ruler of Lugnica, which means that they are in essence princesses, but you can't support two ruler candidates so for the picking process to start, you need another noble family to support her," I deduced.

"Are you familiar with politiiics, since you deduced all of that in such a shooort time?" He was prodding me for information.

"I am used to dealing with nobles, so I am familiar with how power moves work most of the time," I relented, but I wouldn't give him any more information.

"Oh, but do teeell, why did you help miss Emilia help recover her stooolen insignia?" he was still interrogating me, but I guess I could be more open about this subject.

"She saved Subaru from the stab wound, and it seemed he knew where to go, so I just let him lead the way, I didn't know that any of the other things would go down, honest," I answered honestly.

"He is a very ruuude young man, your companion that is, imagine calling poor Emilia by the witch of Eeenvy's name," He kept on with his weird manner of talking.

"I think he just mistook you for her, Felt was also about to say the same thing, right? So should probably not hold that too much against that idiot, plus we wouldn't have found the insignia or Felt without him," I actually defended him, don't really know why though.

"You did help us, so I will forever be thankful to you for that kindness," Emilia said to me, but hearing her voice created a clump in my throat making me unable to speak, so I just nodded in agreement.

"Well, here weee are, I hope you sleep well, even if it is on an empty stomach, Kazuma," Roswaal suddenly shot in as he stopped and opened a door to what I guess was my new since all my stuff was neatly put on my bed.

"Good night, Kazuma," Emilia said before I went inside, again I just nodded as a response.

I closed the door behind me and picked up my notebook, the magic seal was still in place, so nobody had been perusing it. Time to make some updates before I go to bed.

Kazuma's notes:

Fakeumin Emilia

Usefulness: Abilities of a Crimson Demon, but without the crazy theatrics

Intelligence: Average, maybe above

Naïve: still unclear

Equipment: Green gem, worn around her neck

Age: looks between 16-19, (Has elf ears = probably older)

Cheat item/ability: Yes, little grey-white probably OP cat.

Roswaal L Mathers

Usefulness:?

Intelligence: Probably high

Naïve: Not at all

Equipment: Rainbow clothes

Age: looks between 29-40

Cheat item/ability: Probably a stupid amount of abilities

Felt

Usefulness: Average

Intelligence: Average

Naïve: Nope

Equipment: Huge dagger/Short sword

Age: looks between 12-15

Cheat item/ability: Can use wind magic to move fast

Side note: Cute

Drill-haired loli

Usefulness:? probably very dangerous

Intelligence: Probably extremely high since she lives in a library

Naïve: NOPE

Equipment: A pink dress and a tiny crown

Age: looks between 8-12, (Weird eyes, suspecting much older)

Cheat item/ability: Yes, little grey-white probably OP cat.

I guess I can upgrade Subaru's usefulness to average. Well, time for bed. Ah, at least I won't suffer too much when it comes to the beds being similar to what they are back in Axel. Wonder how the girls are holding up.

Meanwhile in Axel

"Has anyone seen Kazuma?" Megumin asked as she was ready to go for her daily explosion.

"If I remember correctly I think he went to Wiz's shop earlier today," Darkness recalled.

"Ok, thanks I will see if he is still there," Megumin cheerfully said as she started to walk down to Wiz's shop.

After a bit of walking, Megumin arrived at the failing store and walked in, and she was greeted by Vanir.

"Oh, if it isn't the crimson demon girl that just confessed her feelings to the little brat, and now hope to talk with him about last night, while on her daily destruction of the environment," Vanir instantly blurted out, making Megumin blush profusely as she tried to smack Vanir with her wand, with him easily dodging.

"Yes, all these dark emotions of utter shame as Moi reveal the crazy explosion girl's secrets, hahaha, truly delectable," Vanir laughed heartily as he kept dodging her staff strikes.

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT, UP!" She screamed her face totally red with embarrassment.

"Oh, but then Moi can't tell you about where the young brat is, but since you insist Moi will keep Moi's mouth shut," Vanir cheekily said as he did a motion to mimic that he had sealed his lips and thrown away the key.

"If I buy something useless Wiz bought, will you tell me where I can find Kazuma?" Megumin asked a little tired of this devil's antics.

"Buy this 1 million sided dice that you can only roll once, for 10 000 Eris, and Moi will tell you where I last saw the young brat," He said while presenting a metal ball with a little red dot on it.

"Fine, here take it, and tell me where you last saw Kazuma," She demanded as she handed him the money, while he packed the ball down for her.

"Moi lastly saw the brat by that shelf over there before Moi went downstairs to check on the newly acquired wares, and when Moi comes back he was gone without a trace, not even with Moi's divination is Moi able to see where he currently finds himself," Vanir said with a smirk.

"Wait, WHAT!" Megumin suddenly burst out as she understood the severity of what Vanir just said.

Checkpoint reached, Subaru wakes up for the 2nd time in the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed making this chapter, hopefully you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed making it. Next time we will see what happens when they meet again at the dinner table.
> 
> Side note: I am still working on chapter 11 for "The Iwatani family," I just need more time.


	3. Bully or Mentor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day in the Roswaal Mansion.

The morning of a "New" day.

Kazuma's POV

Hmm, my stomach is rumbling, oh yeah I haven't eaten anything since, since when exactly? I ate before I went to Wiz's shop, but didn't I eat some chips that Subaru had, no that can't be right, I also didn't eat any of the food I prepared for me and Felt. Well, time to find the kitchen again.

I quickly got dressed into my adventurer clothes as I strapped Chunchunmaru onto my belt on the right side, before I attached my mithril rope to my belt, placing it on my left. After that I put my mask into my quiver's secret compartment and left both the bow and the quiver behind beside my night table. I then walked over to the door and opened it.

"Oh, good morning," Fake… I mean Emilia said a little surprised by me opening the door just as she was about to knock.

"Yeah sure," I answered simply, as she got out of the doorway and let me through.

"I was about to see check up on Subaru would you care to join me?" She asked timidly, her mannerisms reminding me that of Yunyun, so I just nodded and let her lead the way.

Subaru's POV

"I know this ceiling," I noted to myself as I woke up in a gigantic bed again.

"Oh, he has awakened sister," A female voice rang out from my left, but I didn't care to look to my right.

"Indeed, he has Rem," Another female voice confirmed, but I just ignored them.

"Hard to believe a total night owl like me can wake up so early, I am getting all emotional, I should probably go to sleep a second time, no wait a sec, I woke up earlier so that would make this the third," I said to myself, thinking out loudly.

"My what a deadbeat thing to say, did you hear that sister?" The first woman spoke again.

"I heard him Rem, truly the words of a loser," The second female voice confirmed, which ticked me off.

"HEY! WHO ARE THESE TWO VOICES THAT KEEP Criticizing me in Stereo," But then I was shocked by what I saw.

"N-no way, short-skirted maid costumes exists in this world too," I took in the two twins beauty as I high fived myself mentally, now this is starting to look like a generic isekai-adventure.

"This is going to be awesome!" I erupted out in excitement as I did a fist-pump, this is the kind of great things that were supposed to happen to you when you were summoned to another world.

"What terrible thoughts this one is having, you are being repeatedly violated in the mind of our guest sister," The blue haired maid accused as she held her… twin sister's hand with her own.

"Truly terrible indeed, you are experiencing the ultimate shame in the mind of our guest Rem," The red haired maid coldly stated.

"Don't underestimate the capacity of my mind, you are both fair pray in my mind, little maids," I threatened as I wiggled my fingers around, pretending I could steal their panties with just my mind, before I a light knocking on the open door caught my attention.

"Seems like you can't even wake up without causing a commotion, huh Subaru," Emilia stood in the door with a grumpy Kazuma behind her, how he could be grumpy when a beautiful girl such as Emilia was with him was beyond my comprehension. Just seeing her again relieved me of so much stress, FINALLY some familiar faces.

Kazuma's POV

I wanted to facepalm at this guy pretty much drooling like a dog, as soon as he looked at Fake… Emilia. I looked at the twin maids that were with him, and I instantly knew to keep myself as far away from the blue one as possible, she looked at me with cold eyes, but my {Enemy detection} was going off and it felt like she wanted to hurt me, real bad.

The pink-haired one was a carbon copy of her sister, except for her sister having blue hair, the boob size and her having… red eyes instead of blue. I really don't like this world so far, but that might just be the hunger speaking. If I get some food, I am sure this gnawing feeling will go away.

"Whoever picked that outfit DEFINITIVELY GETS IT!" Subaru suddenly bursted out, making me want to smack him over the head with the blunt side of Chunchunmaru, for being so irritating when I am hungry.

"I am not even going to pretend to know what you are talking about, but the fact that I know it is something stupid is… disappointing," She quickly answered.

"Listen to this miss Emilia, without provocation my dear sister was just violated by that man," The scary one said as she pointed an accusing finger on Subaru.

"Please listen to this miss Emilia, Rem was just held prisoner and shamed by that man," The pretty one said as she pointed an accusing finger in just the same fashion as her sister on Subaru.

"That's enough you two, don't tease him so much," Emilia unfazed by their remarks said as she walked over to Subaru.

"Yes, of course miss Emilia, my sister is very sorry," Rem said first as she lowered her arm.

"Yes, of course miss Emilia, Rem is sorry as well," The pretty one said as she copied her sister.

"Tell me, are you feeling alright today, does anything feel off to you?" She gently questioned Subaru, making him finally stop drooling over himself.

"Huh, nah, just a bit groggy from oversleeping, so you were the one that saved both me and Kazuma, isn't that right Millie?" Oh no, he has given her a nickname.

"Huh, Millie, why would you call me that?" She asked surprised by him giving her a nickname.

"It is just a nickname, no big deal, seriously though, thank you, you saved me, twice that is," He said blushing as he bowed from where he was sitting in his bed, totally forgetting about how I also saved him twice.

"Not at all, honestly I am the one that should be thanking you, you barely even know me, but you still risked your own life in order to protect mine, it is only natural I would heal your wounds after something like that, same goes for you, Kazuma," Fake… EMILIA suddenly said as she directed her attention back at me, but she didn't meet my gaze.

"You know, catching up and saying our thanks is good and all, but I haven't eaten since yesterday, so could I get something to eat, hell I will even make it myself if I can just use the kitchen," I answered, my hunger was clearly getting to me.

"Uhm of course, Rem, Ram, when will breakfast be served?" She hurriedly asked the maids.

"As soon as master Roswaal return miss Emilia," They said simultaneously.

"Does that sound good, or would you still like to use the kitchen to prepare something for yourself Kazuma?" F… Emilia asked me, now a little calmer.

"Nah, I can wait," I answered making her let out a sigh of relief.

"With that out of the way, I think it is time to go out and start a brand new day!" Subaru happily stated as he rose from his bed.

"I can show you around the mansion, while Rem and Ram finishes the preparations for dinner," Emilia quickly offered. The twins then bowed before they quickly left the three of us alone.

"So where is Felt?" I suddenly blurted out, not really knowing why I asked that.

"She is out in the garden with Rom, at least the last time I checked, I could show you the way, if you want?"

"Su-"

"Yeah! The garden would be the perfect place," Subaru interrupted me, ok if he does one more annoying thing before I get food, I am punching him.

"You should get dressed Subaru, we will wait in the hallway until you are ready," She said in a gentle tone as she walked outside, but I just closed the door after her, I needed to ask him something privately.

"Hey! I am going to change, so leave," Subaru complained.

"Shut up! How the fuck did you know the password, either you were extremely lucky or you heard it from someone, so tell me how you knew," I ordered, my tone a little harsh since I was hungry.

"I heard Felt saying it," He answered, and he didn't seem to be lying, but that didn't make sense to me.

"What, we met Felt at the loot house, or… I feel like we met Felt in the alley, you know what, just forget about it, my memory is a bit hazy after I got chopped up by that bitch," I said as I left the room.

After a few minutes of waiting Subaru joined us after he had put on his black/white/orange tracksuit. Emilia led the way as I walked on her left with Subaru on her right. He seemed so distracted that I might as well just teach him to pay attention to his surroundings.

"{Create water}{Freeze}" I chanted making a little puddle of water freeze in an instant, so that Subaru would slip and fall on his ass.

"Woah," CRASH, or more correctly he stumbled forward and crashed into a vase. Hope I don't get in trouble for that, or more importantly don't get in debt for that.

"What did you do that for!" Subaru loudly complained as he stood up from the broken vase and dusted himself off, while Emilia looked at me with confusion present on her face.

"You need to pay more attention while you walk, and not being overly focused on something or in this case someone, all the time," Like a certain perverted crusader does when we fight a bunch of enemies, and she only focuses on getting hit by the strongest one.

"I have never heard a chant like that before," Emilia said, as she suddenly grabbed ahold of my hand, making me flinch away.

"Personal space please, is it okay to just suddenly grab someone like that in Lugnica?" I asked rhetorically.

"Oh, I am sorry for being so brazen, you just piqued my interest with that unfamiliar magic chant," She quickly apologized, as she backed away from me, while Subaru looked at me with angry eyes. No wait a second, was he jealous? I looked down at the hand Emelia had grabbed and rubbed it in my face, and his expression got even clearer.

"So those are the kind of eyes you give a man that has saved your life, remind me to not repeat the action," I told him sternly, which seemed to calm him down a bit.

"Hmm, no I think it was just the hunger affecting me, please think nothing of it," Subaru apologized, but he wasn't exactly very sincere.

"You aren't hurt are you?" Emilia asked him in a little worried tone, which made him shake his head furiously.

"N-no not at all Millie, your kindness is the one thing that can heal me," Oh god, he really just said all that cringy stuff, unironically.

"Don't say stuff like that," Preach sister! "If you don't mean it," Oh, so she didn't believe he was serious. I guess she doesn't interact a lot with other people, or she thinks she is not worthy of compliments, just like Yunyun.

"Let us now proceed to the garden, I am sure Felt will be happy to see you two again," Emilia cheerfully said as she went back to showing us around, I didn't pay too much attention to the tour, while Subaru went back to being distracted by Emilia, so he probably didn't catch much either.

When we came out in the garden… yard… field, yes it was a field with beautifully trimmed bushes and cut grass with well executed flower dispersal. After looking around for a bit I saw a little nice wood lounge with a huge man sitting under it, as a girl with golden blonde hair ran around in the field, seemingly enjoying herself. We went over to the big man, catching his attention.

"Wasn't your name Rom?" I queried as we all sat down in the little white outdoor lounge.

"That is correct, Kazuma, Emilia and scary-eyes, good to see you are all well," He said with a gentle smile as he returned to look at the girl dashing around in the field until she noticed the we had arrived.

"Hey! My name is Subaru," He shot in clearly offended by not being remembered.

"I heard you made some food for Felt, seemed to have done her well, thanks for that," Rom suddenly complimented me, his sincerity catching me off-guard.

"Eh, You are thanking me for that, but not me killing the psycho in the loot house, your priorities on what to praise are really skewed man," I attacked trying to plaster over my shocked confusion.

"Maybe," Old man Rom said as he smirked at me, like he had already figured me out.

"Has the accommodations in this mansion been adequate for you?" Emilia suddenly asked, clearly confusing Rom with her difficult words.

"Do you like it here so far? Is what she is trying to ask," Subaru translated, making Rom chuckle.

"After I was reunited with Felt, I started to like it here," Rom answered, making Emilia's smile brighten, leading to Subaru smiling.

Felt's POV

"What are you guys smiling for?" I shot in as I reached the group, with scary-eyes, old man Rom and Emilia smiling from ear-to-ear like someone had just told a great joke. Kazuma was the only one looking grumpy.

"Rom is glad you are safe, which lead him to enjoy it here, further leading to Emilia being happy about Rom being happy, and Subaru is happy to see Emilia smile, did you catch of all of that Felt?" Kazuma quickly summarized with disinterest showing in his voice.

"Yeah, I got that," I answered as Subaru rose from his bench.

"Millie would you care to join me for some training?" Subaru offered, catching her attention, while Kazuma made some distance between him and Subaru. Didn't he like training or something?

"What kind of training do you have in mind?" Emilia asked curiously.

"Come I will show you," He retorted as he went out of the lounge and out on the grass with Emilia following behind him.

"Ok so we are going to do warm-up exercises and Cal athletics, now copy what I am doing,"

"Do you want to play a game of tag?" Kazuma suddenly shot in as he came up on my right, making me lose focus of whatever the other two were doing.

"I am not a kid," I told him sternly, Subaru had thought I was a kid for some reason.

"I didn't think you were a kid either, you look between 12 and 15, but from how you act I would guess 15," He guessed quite accurately, surprising me.

"That is some good guessing, but how can you guess so accurately when you barely know me?" I asked a little more curious.

"You remind me of some friends I have, but now it is your turn to guess how old I am, if you miss by 1 year I will still count it, and you can ask me for 1 favor, but if you miss you owe me 1 favor, sound fair?" He proposed, and it sounded like a good bet and I felt confident about this.

"Hmm, Subaru said he was 17, and you guys seem to come from the same country, but you are more experienced in battle, so I would guess 18 based on that, however you look younger than him, basing my answer on that I would say you are 16, so I am going to guess you are 17 and be done with it," I summarized, which made Rom sigh audibly like I had made a mistake.

"He told me he was 20 Felt, so-"

"Nope she is spot on, I am 17, I'll owe you a favor for later," Kazuma interrupted, shocking Rom.

"So you lied about your age so you could get some beer, not that I care, you seem used to drinking," Rom said, causing Kazuma to shrug in reply.

"VICTORY!" Subaru suddenly yelled followed up by Emilia and then her little cute spirit, yes it had been throwing icicles all around the loot house yesterday, but I still wanted to pet it so I dashed towards it, with Rom and Kazuma slowly following from behind.

"It is ok Lia, because I can't find any trace of hostility or malice in him," The cute spirit said pointing at Subaru as I got close to them.

"It is so cute how you call her Lia," Subaru said with a smile, as he held him in his hands.

"It is not half as cute, when you call her Millie," The cat spirit countered.

"You really are a strange one, aren't you Subaru," I could hear Emilia whisper, which caught his attention as he looked at her with confusion. She didn't repeat her statement just sent him a bright smile, that made him blush.

"Has Roswaal returned?" Emilia suddenly asked as she looked over at the two twin maids that had just suddenly appeared, good god they were sneaky.

"Miss Emilia, our lord master Roswaal has finally returned home, please come inside and join him for breakfast," They said in total synchronization, creeping me out.

Skip to dining room

"I was watching you from upstairs, and you know what? It would appear you are quite an imbecile, I suppose," The little girl from earlier said to Subaru as we entered the dining room.

"And just where do you get off saying that, you LOLI!" He answered back angrily.

"What does that word even mean? I have never even heard it before and it just irritates me, I think you just made it up," She answered with contempt in her voice.

"BETTY! I haven't seen you in four days, hope you have been doing well and staying ladylike," The cat said as Emilia entered with him on her right shoulder.

"HELLO BUBBY! I have been waiting so eagerly for you to come home! Will you stay with me today, you suppose?" Betty said with an adoring voice as she held out her hands for, Bubby. That cat has such a cute name.

"Yeah sure, no problem, today is the day we can finally relax together," Bubby said as he floated into her tiny hands.

"AWW, this will be great!" Betty excitedly said as she spun around happily while carrying Bubby in her hands.

"Feeling bewildered aren't you, Beatrice is so taken with Puck she can't get enough," Emilia revealed their true names, but I am still going to call them Betty and Bubby.

"I can't believe you just said bewildered unironically," Subaru answered with a nervous smile.

"Ok, so her big weakness is Puck, good to know, means she will probably leave me alone," Kazuma said out loud as he entered the room with Rom behind him.

"Hmm, smells good," Rom noted as he entered the room, I had to agree, but the food I had yesterday night smelled even better.

"My, my, how uuunusual to see you here Beatrice, I am so happy you are dining with me, I do ever so love your company, and treasure our times together," The clown Lord said as he entered the room shocking Subaru, but nobody else. I guess they also met him before.

"That boy is more than enough addle brain fool for me, I suppose" Betty said in her cold tone. "Betty was only waiting around for Bubby!" Betty said in her adorable voice as she affectionately rubbed Bubby up against her cheek.

"Wow, so you guys hired a clown to entertain you before each meal, I will never understand how you rich folks think," Subaru said as he patted the back of the LORD, the fricking LORD. If he got blown to bits know I wouldn't be surprised, I have heard about people being killed for less by grumpy nobles.

"Oh god, Subaru is dead," Kazuma whispered to himself as he facepalmed.

"Uhm, Subaru, that man is actually-"

"Oh no, it is quite alright, miss Emelia, I will handle the introductions," Roswaal interrupted Emilia as he took the word.

"What's going on?" Subaru asked dumbfounded.

"I am in faaact the Lord of this manor, Roswaal L Mathers, so very pleased to make your acquaintance, Subaru Natsuki, right?" He said as he got right up in the now very nervous face of Subaru.

"Follow me Miss Felt, this seat is reserved for you," Ram said as she guided me to a chair that was right next to Betty, with Kazuma on my left, Rom on his left and Subaru and Emilia opposite of me and Betty.

"Finally, some food," Kazuma said gratefully as both he and Subaru grabbed a spoon and started to eat the soup.

"This is way better than normal food," Subaru commented as I took my own spoonful, and don't get me wrong it was some of the best food I have ever tasted, but what I had yesterday was even better. I just couldn't get that meal out of my head.

"Mhmm, despite her appearance Rem's cooking is quite impressive," Roswaal complimented as he gestured to the blue maid.

"So this was cooked by the one with the blue-hair… I think I got that right, you made this?" Subaru asked.

"Yes, that is correct, I am responsible for all of the cooking in this household, my sister doesn't happen to be very good at cooking," Rem quickly retorted.

Kazuma's POV

"Ah, so it is the good old "twins that are good at different things" trope, so your sister is good at cleaning then I take it," Subaru stated very sure of himself, when will he realize this isn't a fucking VIDEO GAME!

"Yes, that is correct, my sister excels at housework's chores, especially cleaning and laundry," Rem quickly retorted.

"So, while you are good at cooking, you are probably bad at cleaning and laundry, right Rem-rin" Subaru guessed, while pointing his spoon at Rem, oh please let him be wrong. I so want him to be wrong.

"On the contrary, I am generally good at all households tasks, I am also better at cleaning and laundry than my sister," She said exactly what I wanted to hear, take that… I have to come up with a nickname for him.

"You are truuuly a unique young man, you come to the mansion of Margrave Mathers in the kingdom of Luuugnica, and you say you don't understand a thing," He noted in his usual unusual way of speaking.

"So what do you mean by that, is something bad happening in this country?" He asked with a spoonful of soup halfway to his mouth.

"Well, it is not in an agreeable state, which only makes sense, after all Lugnicaaa doesn't have a King, now don't look so aaalarmed there is no need to be concerned, everyone in this country is already quiiite aware of that circumstance being the reality," Roswaal reassured, well as long as I don't have to deal with a terrorist group trying to take over I am not worried.

"Wow, really, I expected a "Now that you know my secret, I can't let you leave here alive," thing," Subaru said, still making it sound like this is a video game, WHICH IS NOT THE CASE.

"Roughly about the same time the king went into the hiding, an epidemic began to spread throughout the castle, the king and his children are the last of his line, at this moment the country is being managed by a group of wiiise-men, and that cooouncil is currently in the process of selecting a new ruuuler," Roswaal expositioned to him, so this country is basically an oligarchy at the moment good to know.

Wait with all these pieces in place me and Subaru are "Totally suspect here!" Subaru took the words out of my mouth for once.

"Aaand on top of that you took contact with miss Emilia, thus initiating a direct connection to my household, aaah the dilemma," Roswaal calmly explained.

"Hey, hold on a second why would the Lord of the mansion call her Miss Emilia?" He dumbly asked, didn't we already go over this with the insignia and everything.

"I am not sure how things are where you are from, but here we address those with higher status respectfuuully," Roswaal answered with a smile on his face.

"But that would mean Millie here is, is a,"

"That means that both Felt and Emilia are viable candidates for the throne, hey then I might have to call you princess Felt," I shot in, with clear snark as I directed the last part at Felt.

"Don't call me that!" She complained as she punched me in my arm, it hurt a little bit, but nothing I couldn't handle.

"Well officially, we are candidates for the 42nd ruler for the kingdom of Lugnica, however I have the backing of Roswaal, and we still need to find a noble family that would want to support Felt," Emilia summarized, finally Subaru seemed to catch on.

"I never said a wanted to become a ruler of this crappy country, all the nobles I have met or heard about just use us normal folks like me and Rom for their own twisted agendas, I don't want to deal with them," Felt was clearly upset at this revelation, but I think her anger got the better of her since she kind of forgot that Roswaal, A NOBLE, was sitting right next to us.

"My, my, suuuch harsh words, should I feel offended Miss Felt?" Roswaal asked with a calm smile, making Felt shut up and grabbing ahold of my mantle, ok, I will help you out of this one Felt.

"Not all nobles are the same from my experience, some use their power and position to help out their people, however they are not the norm, most nobles I have met does abuse their power, so Felt's words are justified, at least if she meant it in general, I am sure she has appreciated the hospitality you have provided and didn't mean to offend you," I defended her, making Roswaal send me a satisfied smile, my gut feeling told me to be vary of him.

"You taaalk like a true diplomat, Kazuma, do not worry no offense is taaaken, Felt has been living in the slums for most her life so a resentment towards the nobility is quite uuunderstandable," He said understandingly, causing Felt's grip around my mantle to loosen until she finally let go. Then Rom patted me on my back, and when I looked to the giant old man he was smiling at me with a loving smile. He might have meant for it to be a nice gesture but it freaked me out.

"I still don't get why I have to become some ruler candidate, I never wanted that," Felt complained.

Emilia put her insignia on the table. "This qualifies one as a viable ruler candidate, it is a ceremonial touch stone that is used to determine if one is worthy to sit at the throne and lead this country as a monarch," Emilia explained thoroughly, however Felt didn't seem to care.

"WAIT A SECOND! Are you saying you lost an insignia that qualifies you to rule the kingdom!" Subaru shot in clearly shocked over the real value this item represented.

"Now don't put it like that, I didn't lose it, she stole it from me," Emilia defended as she pointed an accusing finger at Felt.

"It's not my fault you don't pay enough attention to your things," Felt shot back.

"What happens if you manage to lose that thing anyway, will the government office issue another one or something?" Subaru queried, as he stared at the insignia like it was a block of pure gold.

"Oooh, what a dreadful scenariooo, if you had lost it there would be no douuubt, the belief would be that one who can't even protect a tiny insiiignia has no business being entrusted with the nation's rule, aaand that would be the end," Roswaal told us, with a hint of relief in his voice.

"Well, knowing those facts I would say I did a damn good job, and it totally raises my expectations for a nice reward," He said while wiggling his fingers around like an amateur.

"Excuse me, what the fuck did you do that would merit a reward, I was the one that killed that psycho bitch, while you sat on your ass most of the time, occasionally swinging an oversized club in the air," I challenged, now finally my time to point my spoon at someone.

"If it hadn't been for me we wouldn't have found the loot house," Subaru defended.

"True, but you wouldn't even had a chance of telling us that if I hadn't saved your ass back in the alley, and gotten Emilia to stabilize you, so if anyone deserves a reward it is me," I argued, and I was about to go on but then…

"You are both worthy of a reward after all the effort you put in to help me, and I am very thankful for that, so you can both ask me for anything," Emilia shot in before I could go on, now what would I want.

"You heard the Lady, aaany reward you desire, just name iiit," Roswaal offered as he stretched out his arms.

"Hehe, Well in that case I have but one request, I am starting to like this mansion, HIRE ME TO WORK HERE!" Subaru bursted out, now that is a horrible reward to ask for when you just saved someone from losing their chance at becoming the ruler of a country. Everyone else in the room seemed to agree with me, because the room went completely silent.

"Achoo," Ram broke the silence with a cute sneeze

"Aaand you Kazuma, what would you want as a rewaaard?" Roswaal urged me to answer, probably hoping I would demand something more extravagant than Subaru.

"The library we met Beatrice in, how extensive is the information that can be found there, and how many things does the books cover?" I wanted to know, maybe I could find a way to get back home in there.

"Quite extensive and the books cover a lot, I suppose," Beatrice answered my question.

"If that is the case, I would want to read whatever books I choose to in the library for as long as I want, without being worried about Beatrice over her harming me or flinging me out of the room," I demanded.

"Beatrice what do you have to saaay about me allowing him in the forbidden library?" Roswaal questioned her.

"If he can get there then I won't harm him, I suppose," Beatrice retorted, the suppose putting me a little bit off.

"The way you said that is very off-putting," Subaru took the words from my mouth again.

"Don't mind Betty, that is just one of her little quirks, she always ends her sentences like that," Puck reassured us, but after having seen him throw ice spears around like Aqua throws party tricks yesterday, it didn't really put me at ease.

"Kazuma it would seem I am able to fulfiiill your demand, in the meantime you can be my honooored guest, however you must get into the library on your own, without harming aaanyone," Roswaal put out the requirements.

"Sounds fair to me, if you need me I will be in the forbidden library," I said as I walked out the door, and closed it behind me. From how willing Roswaal was to giving me permission to try and enter, I bet it would be a really low probability of finding it, but with my luck it should be the first door I open.

I then proceeded to open the door to the forbidden library and walked in, with nobody around. So I started to peruse some of the bookshelves until I saw a black one and pulled it out. The title was "The Gospel," and I just started reading some pages. It seemed to have a catalogue on all the different books so I pocketed it after I had found some books to read.

After a few minutes I could hear the door open as I was reading "Memories of the White whale," it was interesting enough. It talked about a giant floating whale that attacked people from fog, and anyone killed was erased from existence. It even had accounts from survivors, but I would read them afterwards because Beatrice just snagged the book out of my hands.

"Hey, I was reading that!" I complained.

"How did you get in here so easily, I wonder," She interrogated me.

"I simply opened the door, it wasn't really much else to it," I retorted. "Now, could I please get back the book I was reading?" I begged politely as I held my hand outstretched to her.

"You can read whatever books you want in here, but you are not allowed to take books out of the library, I suppose," I nodded my head in response to her aggressive demands, as I gestured for getting the book back, which she eventually did. I was definitively keeping onto this catalogue book, that couldn't be much of a deal anyway, right?

"Hmm, you got in here quite quickly it seems, that is very impressive Kazuma," Puck said as he emerged from Beatrice's back.

"Bubby it would seem I can't spend more time with you today, since I have to babysit this one, I suppose," She said in an exasperated tone.

"That is fine Betty I will see you later, and be nice to him if you want him to stick around," Puck whispered the last part, before he left through the door, then it closed by itself behind him.

"You smell weird, I suppose," The girl insulted me as soon as Puck had left. So much for being nice.

"In that case I should probably go and take a bath, would you be so kind to guide me to the bathroom?" I asked politely, which made her send me an evil smile.

"It would be my pleasure, I suppose," She said, and moments later it felt as if I was sitting in a box that was being shook violently by a child, until it finally stopped spinning.

"What the fuck did you just do?" I demanded to know, now feeling sick and angry.

"I transported you to the bathroom, if you walk out, the bathroom should be straight ahead, I suppose," Beatrice answered clearly content with seeing me uncomfortable. I then rose from the pile of pillows I had been sitting in and out the door.

I came out in the hallway, and the door to the bathroom was wide open as I went inside. This bathroom focused on having a big round pool in the middle, which was in contrast with what I was used to in my mansion, since I had square pool at the inner most part of the bathroom.

Subaru's POV

"Well, let me show you around the mansion so you know how to navigate it Barusu," Ram used her new nickname for me after Rem had taken my measurements, since none of the current butler suits fit me. First we saw the VIP room, then we went to the bathroom.

"HEY! I AM BATHING HERE, GET OUT!" Kazuma yelled at us as we came in. He hurriedly covered himself with a nearby towel as he started to blush. Finally, I got back at him.

"My apologies Kazuma but Barusu here needs to be familiarized with the mansion, so you will have to tolerate it for a minute," Ram explained, but he suddenly started to smirk, his blush completely gone now.

"Barusu, she calls you Barusu, hahaha, oh my god that is hilarious, hey mister Balls, how is it to be a butler," Kazuma mocked as he started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Shut up!" I retorted at the naked boy laughing his ass off.

"Seriously though, if you don't get out I will splash you both with water," Kazuma threatened, but I couldn't understand if he was serious since he was laughing so much.

"Time to leave Barusu," Ram said as she dragged me out of the room, and then into the kitchen, then lastly to the main lavatory.

"With a mansion like this I bet the restroom is freaking huge," I commented as I opened the door to see Beatrice laying in a bed and sniffing a pillow.

"Don't worry I won't tell a soul about this, but- AHHH," I didn't get to say anything more as I was flung out of the room by an invisible force, with the door slamming shut.

"Owe, now let me finish you little-" I complained as I opened the door to reveal an average sized toilet, shocking me a little since I was prepared to give that little drill-haired loli a speaking to.

"You just witnessed miss Beatrice's door crossing," Ram coldly explained.

"Oh really, so it is a spell that can connect any door in the mansion to her own room, is that it?" I guessed expecting a yes or a no, instead…

"And once miss Beatrice has eliminated her presence, there is no way to find her without trying every door," Ram continued my theory, in other words confirming it. I looked down the hallway and my instincts kicked in as I rushed to open the door.

"She is in here!" I declared as I opened the door, shocking both Ram and Beatrice as the latter sent me an angry glare, now having thrown the pillow into a pile I hadn't notice before.

"Hey Subaru what are you up to, or should I say, Barusu, heh," Kazuma chuckled to himself as he popped up behind me, now done with his bath.

"Ram is still showing me around the mansion, why are you here?" I questioned.

"My gut told me to go down here if I wanted to get into the library and lo and behold here it is, you even opened the door for me," He teased.

"Ugh, ok how do you two keep breaking through my door crossing all the time!?" Beatrice said with both anger and curiosity present in her voice.

"Like I told you before, I am a flag crusher that makes game masters cry," I confidently stated as I heard an audible sigh, loaded with disappointment coming from Kazuma.

"I have no idea what you are talking about!" Beatrice shouted at me now clearly frustrated.

"Tell me, how do you fit in around here anyway, you Roswaal's little sister or something?" I guessed.

"I would never want to be his little sister, I suppose," She protested while pouting.

"Master Roswaal is the greatest magic user in the kingdom, he has many books that mustn't be seen by others, and miss Beatrice have been contracted to protect them from prying eyes," Ram explained as she shot Kazuma a glare, clearly implying him to be one of those with prying eyes

"See, I got a useful reward, you got to work as butler, and I think Roswaal miscalculated when he thought I wouldn't find the library, it is almost like Beatrice's wants me to find it, I bet you 1 favor that I can find the library three times in a row, what do you say Subaru, do you take the bet?" Kazuma asked with a smug tone, there is no way you can find it 3 times in a row, he has to miss at least once.

"I don't want you to find the library, it is quite the opposite in fact, I suppose," Beatrice adamantly protested.

"I will take that bet Kazuma," I said as I closed the door and re-opened it to show him that Beatrice had moved.

"Follow me," Kazuma confidently said as he lead the way, with me and Ram following behind.

"Ram, what room is in this room?" Kazuma asked as he stopped by a door.

"This is the room where we keep spare vases," Ram answered.

"No, right now it is the door to," Kazuma said as he opened the door, "The Forbidden library," Ram and Beatrice both seemed surprised.

"Now please close the door and re-open it," Kazuma said as a gust of wind slammed the door shut, I re-opened it to reveal a room with vases.

"There is still 2 more for you to manage before-" I was interrupted by Kazuma walking over to the door behind me and opening it to reveal the library, Beatrice looked rather grumpy now.

"Miss Beatrice are you purposefully doing this?" Ram interrogated as she thought over how the feat was possible, now I started to get nervous about what Kazuma would ask me to do if he managed the last door.

"I am not, he must have a dumb amount of luck, I suppose!" Beatrice defended.

"Please close the door," Kazuma requested which this time was met with an even more violent gust of wind slamming the door shut.

"I know the drill," I said as I opened the door to reveal a room filled with paintings of Roswaal in different costumes, I quickly shut the door before I saw something I couldn't forget. Ram on the other hand seemed to dislike that I closed the door.

"On we go," Kazuma said as we got to the end of a hallway with two doors across from each other.

"See, she is behind that door right now, so I will knock on it, and then she will teleport to this door, observe," Kazuma declared as he first knocked on the door closest to Ram before he jumped to the door next to me, and yes I owed him 1 favor, because there sat Beatrice with a tired expression.

"Just get in, I suppose," Beatrice muttered, her tone filled with defeat.

"Fine I get it, what do you want me do to for you?" I asked, my expression probably pretty similar to that of Beatrice.

"Get me some metal, wood and feathers, then put them out in the field next to the outdoor lounge, and get it done before you go to bed," He quickly summarized, as he went inside the library and closed the door behind him.

"With that concluded, I think the tour of the mansion is complete, so do you have any questions?" She asked cold as ever.

"I know it is no use saying this after this is over, but don't you think it would have made a lot more sense for Millie to be the one to take me around for the tour?" I asked a little disappointed that I didn't get to spend more time with the girl of my dreams.

"If you have no questions, then let us get to the ins and outs of your job, basically you will be helping with my work Barusu," Ram continued in her usual tone as she walked ahead of me.

"This must be the moment where my hidden skills as a butler finally reveal themselves!" I exclaimed excitedly, before Ram started to list off all the chores and tasks we needed to complete just today. It was a bit overwhelming to say the least.

After getting our work done, well Ram kind of just sat back and instructed me on what to do. It really ticked me off, because I cut myself on so many different things. Luckily tomorrow was cooking and I am sure I can do a good job then. I was just about to go to sleep when I heard someone knock on my door.

"This is Rem, do you have a moment Subaru?" Rem asked me through the door.

"Sure, yeah I am good, I won't do anything weird, so come on in," I quickly retorted.

"Your permission makes you sound, less credible, pardon me," Rem said as she opened the door to my room, seemingly holding a butler suit.

"You already finished the alterations?" I asked totally shocked at this girl's efficiency.

"When it is Lord Roswaal's clothing I must be careful and precise… but since this is yours," Rem informed me.

"Wait, you cut corner because it was me," I was a little insulted by her remark, but when I tried it on it fit perfectly. "I hate to admit it, but it's perfect, how do I look, good huh?" I queried excitedly.

"With this outfit, over the one you were already wearing, no one in any strange garment could challenge you," Rem said, doing quite the opposite of complimenting me.

"What about Kazuma, his outfit is weird too, right?" I inquired, hopefully I wasn't the only one looking like a fool.

"On the contrary, his outfit seems similar to something commonly worn by merchants, while you stick out like a sore thumb," Rem informed me, annoying me a little bit, since I wanted to hear some other than myself get ridiculed today.

"What should we do with those?" Rem asked, directing my attention to the butler suit pants.

"Oh, this one is easy, got a needle and thread?" I questioned, now it was my time to show some skills I actually knew my mom had taught to me.

"Yes, I brought them, would you like me to properly adjust them for you now?" Rem asked as I picked up the pants.

"Nah, that will be ok, I can do it, don't underestimate my "Sewing skills,"" I said dramatically as I threaded the thread through the needle hole, and proceeded to make the pants perfect.

"I am honestly surprised, I must give you full marks for your sewing, I'd like to add however, much like you, it doesn't appear useful whatsoever," Rem slammed her last insult in before she left after confirming that the pants did indeed fit properly.

"Ok, time for bed," I loudly told myself as I jumped onto my new bed, it was smaller than the one in the guest room, but it was still bigger than the one I had back in Japan. Sleep was just about to take me when my door was slammed open.

"YOU LAZY ASS, GET OUT OF BED!" Kazuma yelled at me angrily as he ripped me out of the cozy bed.

"What has gotten up your ass?" I asked dumbfounded by this outburst of his.

"I'll show you {Bind}," Kazuma chanted as his mithril rope bound my feet, and he started to angrily drag me down the hall, I had to lean upwards to avoid my head getting bumped into staircases. This drag ride came to a sudden stop when he had dragged me out into the yard/field and placed me next to the outdoor lounge.

"I seem to be missing something here Subaru, can you guess what that is?" Kazuma said as if he was lecturing a kid, then I remembered the bet I lost.

"Some metal, wood and feathers," I answered nervously.

"Correct, and what do I have to do to you so that it appears here, can you magically make things appear, because that would be really neat trick for you to have right now," Kazuma went on a rant as he walked around me.

"Chill dude, I will just get it tomorrow," I answered, when he suddenly smacked be in the back of my head.

"We agreed you would get it before you went to bed, so you better ask around until you find it, because guess what, I am not going to let you sleep until you do so, and trust me when I say I can be up for three days straight, but I doubt you can do that when you have to work as a butler at the same time," Kazuma threatened me.

"Wouldn't it just be easier to get it yourself then?" I asked a little miffed by his logic.

"Sure it would, but that isn't as fun as being able to torture you a little, go on loser, get me the stuff I requested, I will be checking up on this spot in 1 hour, and if it isn't here by then, well then you are going to regret it," Kazuma said with an evil grin as he removed the mithril rope from my feet.

"Ok," I answered as I ran into the mansion, I then miraculously found some logs and iron. Feathers was a more egregious task, since not only was the chicken pen far away from the mansion, but the chickens in this world attack you, if you so much as bounce into them. Imagine any Zelda game were you annoy the chicken for too long, just in an enclosed area, and 10 times as aggressive.

"Done, wood, a bag of feathers and metal, fuck the chickens ripped up my outfit, now I have to spend another 30 minutes fixing this suit," I complained loudly as Kazuma wandered over to me with a bag.

"Good job, seems you got a little torn apart by the chickens, but don't worry it is not like anyone used your camera to film it or anything, and then showed it to Felt," Kazuma said with the same evil grin, as my hand went down to my pocket and checked for my phone, it was still there. However I had to be extra sure so I went into my phone's archive and found a 5 minute long video, of me being attacked by the chickens.

"I want to punch you, but I am too tired, so see you later dickhead" I told him as I turned around, and the moment I did, he hit my head hard with his sheeted sword.

"You are dead," Kazuma declared sounding almost bored. He then retracted his sword from my now hurting head.

"Be more careful with your words, that could have gotten you killed if you said that to the wrong person, also remember to keep your own word, or else people won't trust you, and right now that is pretty much the only thing you have," Kazuma just… lectured me, could be that, or he just wanted another excuse to mess with me.

"Are you going to make arrows with that?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, but not just arrows, I discovered something very interesting yesterday, but enough of that for now, go to bed before I make you," He shushed me away, however the moment I had gotten inside I stuck by the door to see what he was making.

"{Snipe}" Kazuma yelled, and the two seconds later a potted plant crashed into my face.

"HEY WHAT THE FUCK!" I yelled at him.

"Leave me alone, I have work to do, and I don't need you sniffing around, so beat it," He ordered me, and after some grumbling I finally relented and started to walk back to my room, and after fixing my suit and hanging it up, I finally got some sleep.

I was woken up by Rem the next morning as she guided me to the kitchen and put me to peeling the potatoes with Ram, while she handled the rest of the cooking. I felt that she undervalued me when all I got to do was peel potatoes. It was not like peeling potatoes could be especially hard.

"OUCH!" I blurted out as I cut my finger on the knife I was using to peel the potatoes.

"Hee-hee, just a fluke, I am sure I can do it, Fff," I suppressed my urge to swear as I cut myself again.

"You might get full marks for sewing, but you are still useless with a knife, Barusu," Ram said coldly as she peeled her own potato.

"You should really get that fixed before you go back to peeling the potatoes, I don't want your blood in my food," Kazuma shot in as he appeared at the door.

"What are you doing here?" Rem asked her tone void of any emotion.

"I wanted to make a snack for myself real quick, and I think some potato chips would hit the spot," Kazuma quickly retorted.

"If you want to make something outside of dinner, you must peel your own potatoes," Ram coldly informed him as she finished peeling her fifth potato.

"That is fine with me, Ram how about we have a potato peeling contest? Let us say, first to 7 flawlessly peeled potatoes, we can take your potatoes as the standard, loser has to clean up whatever mess Subaru made over there," Kazuma proposed as he went to wash his hands.

"I am fine with that, look closely Barusu, you might actually be able to learn something, you must hold the knife still, as you simply turn the potato, steamed potatoes is my best dish, if I do say so myself," Ram said triumphantly, as she held a perfectly peeled potato in her hand.

"How can you say that with such a triumphant look on your face!" I interjected, a little angry over not being able to even peel a potato.

"Ok, I am ready, are you ready Ram?" Kazuma asked as he picked up 7 potatoes, but no knife.

"Are you going to use magic to peel the potatoes?" I queried.

"Nope, I am going to use this, my newly crafted potato peeler," Kazuma declared as he revealed a potato peeler with a solid wooden handle.

"I am ready Kazuma, let me count down, 3, 2, 1, GO!" Ram said as they both quickly and efficiently peeled their potatoes. Kazuma was done peeling one when Ram was still halfway there with her first one, after about 2 minutes Kazuma had finished peeling all his potatoes, while Ram was still on her fifth.

"I win, now would you be interested in buying some of my potato peelers, since they are easier to use, more efficient and safer?" Kazuma acted as a door to door salesman, but I had to admit a potato peeler would be nice to have right about now, so that my fingers would no longer be at risk.

"A knife is still generally better since it can perform multiple tasks, while your invention only excels in peeling vegetables, which only Subaru here is useless enough to require, however, I do admit that it would make peeling vegetables a bit more efficient, which could warrant a purchase, depending on the price of course," Rem summarized, and the truth hurt.

"1 silver and it is yours," Kazuma declared, which made Ram fish out a silver coin and toss it to him as she snagged the potato peeler from his hand.

"1 silver is definitely worth this," Ram noted to herself as she peeled her potatoes even faster than before.

"Very well, another happy customer, so Subaru would you like a potato peeler?" Kazuma asked as he brought forth another potato peeler.

"But I don't have any money, what am I supposed to pay with?" I questioned.

"You work here, I am sure you can pay me back later, but since that is going to take some time I want you to promise be 2 silver coins," Kazuma happily offered as he brought the item closer to me.

"Fine, I promise to give you two silver coins when I am paid," I grumbled as he tossed the potato peeler to me, and I unfortunately caught the sharp part of it, causing my palm to bleed even more.

"Since you have to clean yourself and bandage up, I am just going to borrow your knife to cut my potatoes," Kazuma informed me with a grin as he cleaned up my bloody knife, while I cleaned myself and the bloody potato peeler.

"Are you even any good at cooking?" I questioned Kazuma as he rolled up his sleeves and looked at me with a smug smile.

"Just watch," He said as looked at me, while he cut up all the potatoes he had peeled into perfectly thin slices, and put them into a pot of boiling oil I hadn't even noticed, and after some time he fished out all the now newly fried potato chips as he salted them and put them in a big bowl. He then threw me a piece. And I hate to admit this, but it was the best potato chip I have ever eaten.

"Ok, it is fine, I guess," I said coldly as I fought the urge to ask for another one, but my facial expression probably gave away that I liked it.

Ram snagged a chip and ate it, her expression remaining cold as she took another one, and then another, and then Kazuma pushed her hand away as he put his body between Ram and the bowl of chips. She didn't seem like she wanted to fight him for it so she silently backed away. Then Rem snagged a chip and ate it, but she stopped at one chip and went back to her cooking.

"Hmm, it is good, but I fail to see how this is enough to qualify you as a chef, this is but a simple snack," Rem said as she went back to her own pot.

"OH, is that a challenge, I can see that you are making some good stew, so how about this, if I can make a soup that is better than yours, you will have to make food for me whenever I want," Kazuma proposed as he sat down the bowl of chips.

"And if I win, what do I get for that then?" Rem queried.

"I will give you the patent on my potato peeler," He offered.

"I find that acceptable, but who is going to be the judge of our stews, I believe you would be biased," Rem said.

"I was going to propose a blind taste test by the other people in the mansion, and they have to say which stew they prefer, does that sound fair to you?" Kazuma suggested, making Rem silently nod in agreement. What happened next was too much cooking for my brain to keep up with, and before I had even peeled one good batch of potatoes they were both done with their own respective stew.

Annoyingly enough Kazuma won the contest with only Roswaal preferring Rem's stew over his. I wanted to get back at him so I took Kazuma's katana and hid it in a vase while Felt was fighting with him over the potato chips. I hoped to stress him out a bit as he looked for his Katana, but he didn't even seem to notice it was gone.

Kazuma's POV

I seem to have misplaced my katana somewhere, but I just can't just seem to find it, but it is not like I care that much about it. The only redeeming factor about it, is that it's made of mithril, which has a hard time breaking. I didn't even get to name it myself, just Megumin dropping a weird name on it without my consent.

"Stupid Megumin," I muttered to myself as I sat on my bed.

"Who is Megumin?" Felt suddenly asked as she popped her head into my room, I should really close my room door.

"Well… she is a friend of mine," I answered, we never made clear what kind of relationship we wanted, she just confessed to me after all.

"What kind of friend?" She questioned, clearly curious.

"We were adventurers together, usually we would defeat monsters alongside two other friends of ours, Aqua and Darkness, Aqua is always an idiot when it comes to using her powers effectively, wastes all her time on party tricks instead of something useful, and on top of that she always gets us into deep debt,"

"Darkness is a big masochist that might look self-sacrificing at first, but getting the shit beaten out of her, is actually just perverted way for her to get off, and Megumin,"

"She will always cast her super destructive explosion spell at the first thing she sees if I don't stop her, did I mention she can only use it once per day, " I went on a rant, and I don't know why but it felt really good to just let it all out.

"You must be really close with them, since you know all their flaws," Felt said as she sat down on my bed with her legs crossed.

"Yeah, we live together in the same mansion after all, heh… they are probably somewhere talking smack about me right now so I have to do the same about them," I chuckled to myself as stared at my hip where Chunchunmaru was supposed to be strapped.

"Missing something?" Felt asked teasingly.

"I seem to have misplaced my sword somewhere, I am sure to find it eventually though," I said with a fake smile, trying to reassure her everything was fine, with my overly carefree tone.

"Would you give me any reward if I were to find it for you?" She probed for an answer as she scooted closer.

"Depends on if you were the one to take it in the first place or not, because I don't like paying for stuff I already own, otherwise I guess I would owe that person a favor," I answered while shooting her a judging glare.

"In that case, you owe me another favor," Felt confidently declared as she fished out my katana from behind her back.

"First, tell me where you found it, and don't lie to me," I asked unusually cold and serious, so much so that I even shocked myself.

"I saw someone put it into a vase, but I am not telling you who, because I am not a snitch," Felt quickly answered, I couldn't sense any lies from her, and she also didn't seem to mind my momentary cold attitude.

"So what you are telling me is, THE BUTLER DID IT!" I announced, maybe with more flair than necessary. The only thing that gave away that I was right on her face was a quick twitch on her current smile.

"How do you feel about playing a prank on Subaru?" She asked with a sly smile.

"Do you have anything in mind?"

"Plenty,"

Over the next few days Subaru would to name a few, find one pant leg sown shut, get tricked into holding a water bucket up to a roof with a broom handle, before he eventually let it all spill over him, be shot with spitballs before the culprits escaped back into the library, only being able to follow them most of the time, and worst of all get tricked to go on a fake date with Emilia, twice.

Third POV, in Roswaal's study

"How has Subaru been since he started working, five days have passed since his arrival, shouldn't we be seeing something by now," Roswaal asked in a quite serious tone as Ram sat on his lap.

"Cooking, laundry, cleaning, he is useless at all of them," Ram quickly answered

"How very haaarsh of you, and what are the chances he is a spy?" Roswaal's eyes tightened as his tone got serious.

"I can't deny that such potential exist, but I think the possibility is slim at best, cause for better or for worse, for worse in this case, he is too conspicuous," Ram summarized.

"And if he is too conspicuous then, well despite the odds of that posibility he certainly is carefree isn't he, personally as I see it, it would be wise to interfere with things," Roswaal said.

"They are both only children, even if we let them be nothing will happen, what we really should be talking about is what to do with Kazuma," Ram countered.

"Ah yes, the boy who keeps getting cloooser to Felt, uses my library like it is his own little playground, and if he isn't taken care of soon I can foresee him giving a radical aaadvantage to her camp when it is finally established, something we can't let happeeen," Roswaal said in a sinister tone as he petted Ram on the head.

"So how should I kill him?" Ram asked coldly.

"Keep the mess in his room, and don't make any sound, we will transport miss Felt and her grandfather to the capital, first thing in the morning and if she sees him murdered she will become a fierce enemy instead of a useful ally," Roswaal summarized as he brushed away her pink hair to reveal a broken Oni horn, which he promptly transferred his mana into.

"I will be on my way then master Roswaal," Ram said in a bow as she calmly walked out the door and towards Kazuma's room.

Kazuma's POV

I was currently tinkering with making myself a kotatsu table, the problem now was that I needed a heat source. Felt had already gone to bed, so I was stuck with figuring this one out on my own. Maybe another prank on Subaru would make my gears turn, nah he got bitten by a dog today, might as well just leave him alone until tomorrow.

Two quick knocks came from the door caught my attention, "Who is it?" I questioned.

"It is Ram, I have brought you some tea, could I come in?" She asked in her usually cold and uncaring tone.

"Sure, I am just working on something," I allowed her as I came up from under my unfinished kotatsu table.

"Why are you making a table with a carpet around it?" Ram asked, I could sense both curiosity and spite in her tone.

"Not done with it yet, it is supposed to have a heating element under the table so people can warm themselves on cold days," I explained, as I looked at my prototype.

"Hmm, I see, would you please sit down while I prepare the tea," Ram said, but that was when I noticed she didn't have any tea with her, and my {Enemy detection} pinged off, but it was too late, as my vision rolled around until it went completely black

(Hey M-Megumin, the maid did it, hah, hah) I made a dumb joke, because fuck it, I was dying anyways.

Felt's POV

I was on my way to Kazuma's room, to just ask if he could make something for me, when I heard some ruckus coming from his room, my gut feeling told me something was off, so I got their as quickly as I possibly could. When I came into the room through the door, the first thing that caught my eyes was Kazuma's head rolling towards me. I grabbed his face in disbelief.

"Why? WHY!?" I screamed, as I dropped his head, quickly scanning the room, and I was met by two cold red eyes.

"Unfortunate that you had to see that," She said, and I instantly bolted, and opened a door, begging that it was the library, and for once in my life it actually was.

"What do you want, I-" Beatrice stopped as she met my gaze, and then saw Kazuma's head under my arm.

Subaru's POV

After making the promise with Emilia I went to Beatrice to say goodnight. So I opened the correct door as I wandered in, feeling like I was on top of the world.

"Hey, loli-girl! So you're still awake?" I said in a cheerful tone.

"OUT!" She yelled at me as soon as I finished my sentence, before I felt a force push me out of the library, making me crash hard into the corridor wall behind me.

I guess someone isn't in as good of a mood as I am, better just go to bed before I get slammed into more walls. Should I say goodnight to Felt and Kazuma? Nah, I don't want them to be able to hear about my date with Emilia and mess it up.

When I finally got to my bed my thoughts were flying everywhere about what to do with Emilia the next morning that I couldn't calm down. That was when I got the ingenious idea of counting Pucks, instead of sheep, since his fur is much more comfortable to think of when you are supposed to sleep. I think my lights went out at 100 something.

Eris' POV

"Eris!" The damn soul piece repeated for the millionth time, this might sound mean, but I kind of want Kazuma to die so I can hear something else.

"Eris!" It repeated, but I knew if I didn't respond I could avoid that tiresome message.

"Eris at the very least look at me, I just died after all," Kazuma said, clearly offended, WAIT!

"KAZUMA YOU ARE DEAD!" I yelled, unable to hold back my excitement, I could almost not believe my own eyes as I flashed over to him and inspected him.

"Try not to be too excited," He responded coldly.

"Sorry, it is just that I have been stuck with your soul piece, that kept repeating how you died, over, and over, and-"

"Eris, I died by getting my head chopped off," Kazuma interrupted, as I was unable to hold back an involuntary scowl.

"I am sorry, I guess it wasn't original enough for you, I'll try to die in a way that-"

"No, please excuse me, I have had to deal with him for longer than I can keep track of," I said as I pointed to a younger looking Kazuma.

"He seems silent enough," Kazuma retorted with an uncaring tone, now I finally got a good look at his face, and it was distressing.

"Kazuma-"

Suddenly 400 dark-purple hands emerged from the damaged heaven barrier, and I knew it was 400, because I counted. I thought I was prepared, I had another blade prepared, but it wasn't enough. When I had cut down the 400th hand I stared at an empty chair, yet again.

(Really, I failed again, how useless can I be) I angrily thought to myself, before I kicked the chair Kazuma was just sitting in, only to reveal another soul piece under it.

"Eris!" the first one said

"Yes, what is it?" I answered tiredly.

"I got my head chopped off!" he predictably answered.

"No way, ME TOO!" the new one cheered, doing his best to be louder than his twin.

They then went on an endless loop of telling each other how they died.

Fuck this, I am calling in angel care, while I go visit this shop Kazuma was talking about, maybe I can find a way to get him back to the others. I know his soul can't keep splitting like this, but I am not babysitting them for another second. Those damned hands, if I see them again I will eliminate all of them.

Third person POV

Again Kazuma was being dragged through a familiar corridor of pictures, before a voice rang out.

ONLY MY CHOSEN ONE SHALL REMEMBER ANYTHING, SO FORGET!

"Sure, go ahead," Kazuma retorted.

FOOL!

Subaru's POV

"A new dawn has come! A dawn of hope! Subaru Natsuki will make giant strides today…" I declared before I suddenly realized that Rem and Ram was in the room.

"What are you two doing in here? You just made this super embarrassing, at least you should have said something," I complained with my face probably looking redder than a tomato right about now.

"Sister, sister… Our guest appears to be a bit confused," Rem said.

"Rem, Rem… it looks as though our guest has gone crazy," Ram said, in her cold and usual way.

"Why are you two calling me a guest? You two and your jokes…" I nervously laughed as I looked down on my now completely unhurt hands, not a single scratch on even one finger.

Without thinking much about things I rose from my bed, completely ignoring the maids as I ran out of the room to avoid anyone seeing me cry. Because if everything just reset, it would mean my wonderful promise with Emilia also reset, which just brought me to tears when I thought about all my hard work being wasted. The Maids were on my tail so I slipped into a door which proved itself to be the library, as I just sunk down to the floor while leaning onto the door.

"You come in here without even knocking, what an extremely rude one you are," Beatrice started to berate me.

"Sorry, just let me stay here for a bit, please," I pleaded with my head firmly planted into my lap as I put my hands together in a begging manner.

"This makes the second time you have walked in and found me like this, so how are you breaking through my door crossing?" Beatrice asked, giving me a sudden realization.

"Beatrice!" was the last thing I managed to utter before someone slammed the door open, promptly knocking me out.

Kazuma's POV 5min earlier

Did I drink last night, because I am feeling really hungover just about now.

"Ah, my fucking head, I am not drinking again," I declared.

"Are you ok?" a familiar voice rang out with concern.

"Yeah Megumin, I am fine, I just had too much to drink last night is all," I quickly explained as I slowly got out of bed.

"Megumin? Who is Megumin?" She asked clearly perplexed by my words.

"I see, you have come up with a new over-zealous title for yourself…" I chuckled to myself before I looked over and looked at someone, that indeed wasn't Megumin. Then I remembered. For some ungodly reason, I have been transferred to another fantasy world, only this time I am stuck with a useless piece of shit.

I looked around the room, I was definitively in a mansion, but not my mansion. Ok then, it wasn't all just a bad nightmare, it was reality.

"I have a question, would you care to answer it for me?" I asked as politely as I could muster, even with a horrible headache and all.

"Sure, ask me anything," She said with a gentle, yet concerned smile.

"Do you have something for healing my headache?" I questioned.

"I can try," Emilia answered, as she put her hands to my aching forehead. The moment her hands started to glow my headache increased tenfold, it went from an uncomfortable pressure to feeling like someone was banging a drum in my head. I wanted to tell her to stop but I couldn't form any words. I thought this pain would never stop, however to my great relief she stopped.

"I am sorry, I hurt you, I-" Her tone was filled with regret, and it sounded like she was about to cry, it reminded me of Megumin, so I just hugged her and patted her back awkwardly.

"It's ok, you did your best," I retorted as she carefully placed her hands on my back, treating me like I could fall apart at any second.

It was all good until I was met with cold red eyes staring daggers at me, my body was rushed with fear as I flinched away from the hug with Emilia.

"Miss Emilia, your other male guest ran screaming out of his room after me and Rem woke him up, it was rather alarming, we are looking for him now, but we can't find him anywhere," She quickly relayed, her cold red eyes never leaving me.

I quickly got up and left the room, I didn't feel safe around this maid girl, my {Enemy detection} wasn't going off, but something in me forced me to get as far away from her as possible.

I turned around a corner and kicked open the first I door found, just to have Subaru flop onto the checkerboard floor. I then walked into the room and slammed the door behind me.

"Oh, hey Beatrice," I shot in before I started to look for a book on how I could treat my headache.

"How do you know my name, I don't remember telling you, I suppose," She said as she stepped off her chair and walked over to the now passed out Subaru.

"Wait, you didn't, guess I am just that lucky," I retorted as I continued perusing the bookshelves, I don't know why, but many of the titles felt weirdly familiar to me. Like I had read them before, so I didn't really want to read them.

"What are you looking for, I wonder?" Beatrice questioned as I drew a brown book from the shelf.

I randomly opened a page.

Chocolate Caramels

Mix:

5dl sugar

3TableS Cocoa

3TableS of light syrup

5dl Whole milk

Let it boil for 20min, while continuously drawing an 8 shape in the mixture.

Afterwards add:

125G Butter

3 teaspoons of vanilla sugar

Let the butter melt completely down, and then water test the mixture every 5th minute.

Water test is performed by taking a teaspoon in the caramel mixture and then dipping it in a glass of cold water. If you can then roll this cooled caramel into a ball, the caramel is done.

Spread the caramel mixture out on a prepared baking paper.

Let it cool down a little, and then use a knife to cut the caramel into 1x1 cm squares.

"I want to try this one," I noted to myself as I went further down the shelf, with the book under my arm. Then the book got pulled away from me and flew into Beatrice's open hand, she quickly flipped through the pages.

"Hmm, you can borrow it, but I will have to oversee you, I suppose," She said after flipping through some pages.

"Cool with me, if you help me find the ingredients, you can even get to taste test some of the dishes," I offered.

"Your friend is pretty weak, compared to you, I suppose," She noted while taking a look over Subaru.

"Eh, he is stronger than me physically, so what does that make me?" I questioned, remembering back to Subaru wielding a pretty big club with ease while in the loot house.

"I wasn't talking about physical strength, but he isn't particularly strong in that area either, I suppose," Beatrice said as she looked away from me.

"Then what type of strength were you talking about?" I inquired.

"You possess the important strength of adaptation, I suppose," She answered as she walked away from me and the passed out Subaru.

"How would you know that? We have barely met, or did you drain more than just my mana in our little drain duel?!" The question made her freeze up, for a millisecond, but she froze nonetheless, before she continued to walk away.

"So you did, based on that I would say you probably got to see some of my memories," I guessed, causing her to twitch.

"What did you see?" I asked, I should really have been angrier over the fact that she had read my mind, but Vanir tended to read it, so it wasn't anything new to me. The very least she hadn't mocked me over it.

Beatrice stopped walking away from me, but she didn't turn around. She just stood there like a tiny statue with her back turned to me, before she finally spoke. "I saw a girl with crimson red eyes… talking about all traits that you possess and how she… l-lo-loves you," Her voice was shaky as she said the last words, but that was about everything I managed to process before my legs gave out, and everything went black.

Meanwhile with Megumin

"I got to find Kazuma, he has been gone for a week, but the others still don't want to take it seriously," I angrily muttered as I walked back to the mansion.

"Hey MEGUMIN!" Someone suddenly yelled out of nowhere, I turned around to see Chris.

"Hey Chris, have you seen Kazuma?" I instantly asked, it had turned into my usual greeting at this point.

"Eh, what, no, why do you ask?" She nervously sputtered out, something told me she had definitively seen him.

"You are a bad liar, so where did you see him, he has been gone for an entire week so you better tell me something, or else you will regret it," Chris took a nervous step backwards at my threat.

"I don't know where he is, I only talked to him briefly a while back," She said, and it didn't seem like she was lying, but I still pressed on.

"Be more specific, how many days ago did you see him, how was he, and where were you when you were talking to him?"

"Ehm, I talked to him like yesterday, he is alive don't worry, and we were in…," She stopped midway.

"Yeah, tell me, come on you have to tell me, TELL ME WHERE HE WAS YESTERDAY!?" I yelled at her while grabbing a hold of her shoulders.

"That h-hurts," Chris whimpered as I tightened my grip on her.

"Tell me where you talked with him and I'll let you go," I demanded

"I DON'T KNOW!" She yelled as she sent nervous kicks to my stomach, making the 1millon-sided dice fall out of my pocket but it didn't land before Chris kicked it away, and the next second she was gone. I turned around the see the dice's red dot shine, before it dimmed away again.

I carefully picked up the dice and stared at it with more malice than I thought I could ever feel. "SO YOU'RE AT FAULT!"

Eris/Chris' POV

I was all of the sudden in the middle of a busy street, and I instinctively knew I wasn't in Belzberg anymore. I quickly climbed onto the top of a house and disconnected from my avatar. Since I had thought that I could see where my avatar was, or in what world it was, however to my surprise when I looked from heaven I still couldn't see where my avatar was, like it had stopped existing completely.

Luckily I could still connect back to my avatar, but it felt like whatever world I was in was completely abandoned by the gods. It felt as if the very existence of this world had been completely hidden away. With that confirmed I knew that I had been transported to the same world that Kazuma was currently in.

"Ugh, where am I even going to begin to look for him?" I stunned to myself, my shoulders still felt tender from Megumin's grip. I then spotted a woman reminding me of Darkness, because of their similar "size," only that this one had orange hair and blood-red eyes. Hopefully she would be able to help me find Kazuma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, here you go this is what I have for you. I hope all my readers are healthy and alive. I mean it has been almost half-a-year after all. It has taken a lot of time for me to get this done, but I hope you enjoyed it. Also, yes Subaru didn't notice something was off, since he was way too happy about his date with Emilia.

**Author's Note:**

> In the next chapter, we will see what shenanigans they get up to in the mansion, but until then you can enjoy some of my other stories, like "The Iwatani family" or "The prologue to the Iwatani family." If you enjoy shield hero or Konosuba that is.
> 
> I am not certain if major character death really counts, when things get reset all the time, but the major characters do die quite a lot.


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